✓ SCRAWNY; stanley barber

burrito bomb

the janitor who had been sweeping, turned around to look at the two girls.

"we were wondering if you could help us with, like, a little problem we have." dina explained.

"very little."

"guess that depends on the problem." carl shrugged.

"um, you see, i'm such a ditz." dina stated.

"such a ditz." fifi echoed, not knowing what else to say.

"i think i locked my backpack in sixth period by mistake cause i'm such a ditz." dina stopped herself.

"you just said that." fifi hissed before letting out a fake laugh.

"silly me." dina smiled.

"and you two want the key to that room?" carl assumed, "i'm not supposed to do that."

"um... do you think we could make an exception?" dina questioned before pushing a pencil off the table.

she then nudged fifi, pointing to the pencil.

fifi sighed, "sorry, i'll just..." she crouched down to pick up the pencil and slowly got up.

"thank you." dina smiled at her.

"all right, stop." carl groaned, "please, just... stop."

the girls' smiles dropped as the janitor sighed.

"now, first off, i'm married." he confessed, "secondly, i'm gay. i find you girls' behaviours to be a little bit offensive, and not just to me. to you both."

"yeah, ri... you're right." dina nodded.

"i am so sorry." fifi avoided eye contact.

"just try asking politely next time." carl unclipped the keys, "i'm gonna need em back in 20."

"yes, carl... sir." dina took it from him, "mr carl. okay."

"goodbye."

fif quickly moved her skirt down and left the room, dina following behind.

"holy shit, you got em." syd smiled as she took the keys.

"pretty sure we set the women's lib movement back a couple decades, but other than that, it went great."

"speak for yourself."

"so what's the plan?" dina asked, "we got less than 20 minutes."

"the plan..." stan spoke from behind them, two wraps in his hand, "is quite simple. first, we distract whitaker with burritos."

"i don't think burritos are going to attract him." fifi crossed her arms.

"no, no, no. not the burrito itself, i'm gonna put these in the microwave and blast these bad boys up on high, and then..." stan made an explosion with his hands, "whitaker will hear it and come runnin."

"mr whitaker running for burritos is something i never thought i'd see." fifi grinned, causing them to chuckle.

"then he takes off from the teachers' lounge, the coast'll be clear straight through to the principal's office, and then we make our move."

"syd, you're the key man..." he paused, "key lady."

"wait, why am i the key lady?" syd looked up.

"because you're good with your hands." stan blurted.

"stan." fifi slapped his arm.

"eww." syd cringed.

"dina, you're lookout." stan pointed to her.

"okay." she agreed.

"you keep eyes on whitaker." stan ordered, "fifi, you're the distraction 2.0."

"excuse me." fifi elevated her brow.

"something goes wrong and whitaker comes our way, you have to stop him." stan described his idea.

"why am i the distraction again?" fifi scrunched her face up in confusion.

"well you're um really p-pretty and mr whitaker will um... he'll, you know." stan fumbled over his words.

"i'll put you out of your misery and say i understand." fifi laughed.

"the burrito bomb should keep him busy for a while." stan went back on topic, "what man cannot resist a fire extinguisher. which will give us the time we need to get in."

"right."

"burrito bombs are disgusting." stan shuddered, "last time i set one-off, my whole house smelled like bean farts."

"gross."

fifi let out a loud laugh, "why would you do that."

"my dad was being an ass." stan shrugged.

"anything goes wrong, dina, you signal us, fifi you buy us some time then everyone take cover." stan finished.

"that is literally the worst idea i've ever heard." syd shook her heads as the other two smiled in agreement.

"it's fair. it's totally fair." stan nodded, "can you think of a better one?"

the trio of girls looked at each other, trying to think of something.

⎯ ❃ neens speaks!

thank you so much to whoever is still even reading this book 💕

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