BAD BOY ABUSED (male pov)

#45 You're just like him Liam, just like him.

"What would your boyfriend say if he knew we slept in this bed together?" My words came out sounding desolate.

"Harris isn't my boyfriend. We're just friends." She squealed.

"I don't trust him. I don't like him." I said darkly, it's clear he's into her she is just oblivious to that.

"Well, I don't like your friends." she said defensively.

I felt the overbearing urge to defend my friends, they've been nothing but loyal to me and helped me out in ways I could never repay. They're all I have on this Earth, besides Olivia. But I know she would never understand that because they've all treated her so badly. Regardless of her mind being made up I still attempted to change it, listing all the reasons I care about my friends. When she asked about Ben I told her the truth

"I can't stand Ben. I've never liked him. You know he was really into you at one point? When he asked you on dates it was legit, then we teased him about it because we're dicks and he felt like he needed to prove some messed up point to us. So he left you hanging at that dance and told everyone he played you for two months. You know I punched him for that? He had a black eye for two weeks."

She seemed shocked by my revelation but I didn't dwell on her reaction because I was too busy reliving through the torment I put up with for two months. Seeing Ben with the girl I wanted, her hands draped over him like it was the easiest thing in the world, seeing them kiss, hearing about their dates. It was torture and then it was all for nothing.

***

I hid under the dining table, the one we never sat at. Closing my eyes in the hopes that he wouldn't see me or couldn't reach me from right at the back.

"Do you know what you just done boy? He paid well for you and you've just lost us that client."  His angry voice rippled through the house and little splatters of spit splashed everywhere with the powerful syllables of his sentences. He gripped my t.shirt, catching my skin under his fingernails and dragged me across the floor out in the open. With a heavy shove of his wrist my limb body flew across the room, landing on the floor beside his feet.

"Son of a bitch." He mouthed as he landed his big heavy boots across my small chest.

"Stop" I cried out, hearing the crack of my fragile bones.

But he threw his foot down again, determined to break me as the heavy leather crushed my weak body like I was a bug in his way. I could taste my blood, it was drowning me. Making it hard to breathe.

"The boots are too heavy, you're going to break my rib cage." I begged with a high toned voice, yet to go through puberty. He didn't stop. He kicked my sides, covering every square inch of my skin in colour.

"Would you rather I do it to her?" he spat back at me as he turned his attention to Liv. She was on the floor, getting kicked.

"Don't touch her." I screamed, trying to get my limp body off the floor but I was stuck.

"Stop" I screeched, I was going to kill him for what he had just done.

I got myself up off the floor, sitting up and grabbing hold of him. Wrapping my hands around his wrist and digging in like I had sharp blades on the end of my fingernails. I was going to kill him for hurting Liv, I pressed harder aiming to get my nails deep enough to cut through the veins. With a racing heart and erratic breathing I slowly slipped out of my subconscious.

I panted through the fear feeling the rapid rise and fall of my chest as I blinked away the darkness and my mind adjusted to my surroundings. Olivia sat in front of me, her face screwed up causing little wrinkles around her eyes and nose as she silently expressed her pain. She sat as stiffly and as still as she could to not provoke me even more.

The horror clouded my eyes as I realized what I had just done. Gently I unhooked my fingers from her skin and watched as she winced through the stinging pain I caused around her wrist. I looked down slowly, inspecting the damage as the guilt consumed every fibre of my being and  a tsunami of regret ate away at my conscience.

"Oh my God." I got out of bed so quickly I lost my footing and almost fell as I backed away from her putting space between us so I couldn't hurt her anymore.

"God, Why am I like this?" I shouted at myself, banging my palm against my forehead hard, wanting to feel pain.

She sat watching me, saying nothing. I can't even imagine what she's thinking about me right now. I looked up to face her "I'm so sorry" I cried out, holding back my tears "I need to go." I picked up my clothes and didn't even stop to put them on. I needed to get out of there, get away from her. Now she's seen what I'm really like.

How could I let this happen?

You're just like him Liam, just like him.

As I got to the door she chased after me.

"Liam it's the middle of the night, don't go. Don't walk out whenever things get tough."

I lent my head against the cool door and exhaled deeply.

"Don't you see I'm dangerous to be around? Liv, I just hurt you."

"Liam, you didn't intentionally hurt me. I'm fine, it's just a few scratches. Please come back to bed." 

"Liv, I can't."

Why am I like this?  Why am I so damaged? I hate myself.

I banged my head against the door, needing to feel the pain because it's what I deserved to feel but she slowly reached up and took hold of my arm, guiding me into the sitting room. She left me in the armchair and disappeared in the other room. I sat doubting my ability to be around her, or anyone. I'm just like him.

"You were having a nightmare?" She asked as she returned with a glass of water for me.

I nodded "It happens a lot." I managed to reply in a small voice.

"You want to talk about it?" she offered, pressing me gently.

No I don't, honestly. But after that I feel like I owed her some sort of explanation into what happened and I vowed to let her in, even though now I'm questioning if I should let get go.

"He has these big boots with metal tips. They're heavy and they cause the big purple bruises on my chest. He gets me onto the floor then kicks me or tramples on me. And I lie there, letting him. I can't breathe, I can't move. If I'm lucky I'll black out and lose consciousness. The boots are the worst. I can handle him picking fights, I can handle the massive rings he dresses his knuckles with. But the boots ... I can't handle the boots."

I pushed away the silent tears that rolled down my cheeks as I desperately tried to remain enough composure to get through my words. She listened carefully and looked sympathetic to my situation but her brow furrowed when I finished.

"Why do you let that happen to you?" She whispered through a broken voice laced thick with emotion.

"If he doesn't do it to me then he'll do it to my mom." I told her  truthfully.

"You and your mom can get help, she can get away" She said, not understanding everything.

"My mom doesn't want to get away ... it's complicated Liv." I grabbed her arms again and inched up the sleeve to reveal her cuts. She had hidden them away under bandages but I could see the blood soaking through and it broke my heart in two.

"I'm so sorry I hurt you. I would never intentionally hurt you, you know that right?"

"I know. Let's go back to bed."

No way.

"I think I'll sleep here, if that's okay." but she took my hand and pulled me towards her bedroom.