What If It's Us- The Rest of the Story

Part 2 - "Alabanza: To raise a thing to God's face"

Arthur – November 22nd 2023

Ben and I have settled into a great routine. We split most of our adulting or do it together because everything we do together is more fun. We decided to create a joint checking account that we use for rent, bills, and groceries and transfer whatever else we need into our personal accounts. This helps us both (but especially Ben) feel like we're equally contributing and helps us budget together based on the total balance instead of divvying costs up between our accounts. We literally have not had any tension around money because we do it like this.

Ben is so close to being done with school. Midterms were a couple of weeks ago and we had some pretty frustrated study sessions, but he got all As and a B. When he got the grade reports that weekend, he hugged me so hard and I took him out for a nice dinner to celebrate. We don't go out often, but I shut down all of his protests with kisses telling him I was spoiling him for doing a good job. He worked so hard between classes and working at the bookstore usually five days a week, when it came to the weekends, I tried to respect his need for homework time, but on Saturday nights, that was us time. At 5 on Saturday, whether he'd been working or doing homework or both all day, I would commandeer him and we would cook dinner together and then do something as a couple. Usually, we watched a movie or played a board game (we're kind of into the board game thing, it's super cute!) or if Dylan and Samantha were in town, we hung out with them, but whatever it was, it was time for him to chill.

My job at Penguin Audiobooks has been awesome. They are one of these new age offices with open space and they want us interacting and talking and collaborating on projects and ideas. We book talent, record audiobooks, and get the engineers and the talent whatever they need for their recordings: extra equipment, coffee, water, snacks, etc. They're also really great about wanting their employees to have a work/life balance, so they close down the building at 8 each night and everyone has to leave, and only Saturdays are optional workdays, so no one ever works Sundays. It's been amazing and I'm really starting to find my stride and feel like I'm contributing in bigger ways there.

Thanksgiving is this week, so Ben and I are out of school and work and getting ready to head to Great Georgia for a few days to visit the fam, Ethan, and Jessie. We're both really excited but he's a little freaked by the plane. He's never been on a plane and while he has seemed comforted by the statistics and information I have given him, as I return from the bathroom to our terminal while we wait to board, he's losing it a little. His leg won't stop bouncing and he's got wild eyes. As I sit down, I chuckle to myself and rub his back. My touch immediately reduces his bounce rate by about half. He's been very specific with me. He doesn't love the feeling of roller coasters, they usually make him a little queasy, so my telling him that it feels like going on a roller coaster was not helpful. We've got a plan. What he needs is my hand and loud music that we're both listening to together. We've made a playlist, we're set, but I can totally feel him spiraling.

Our boarding group is called, so we gather our carry-ons, pull out our phones with our digital tickets, and go get in line. Obviously, our hands are full so holding hands in this moment is not really an option as we move up the line. While we are stopped for a moment, I see the wild eyes return and say, "Hey," so he looks at me. "Come 'ere", I say, leaning forward. He bends down and I kiss him gently on the lips. He is visibly more centered when we pull away and I love the calming effect I have on him. "Better?" I ask.

"Much. Thank you," he says as he takes a deep breath. We move up and scan our tickets before heading onto the plane. We get our suitcases in the overhead bins before taking our seats. Thankfully, we are on the side of the plane with only two seats, so we don't have to worry about a random third person. When we get seated and buckled, I slide my hand into his and he grasps it tighter than he's ever held my hand ever. We get our earbuds in and start our calming playlist, which seems to help him keep his chill until the pilot announces we are up for takeoff. The plane begins speeding down the runway and I'm legitimately afraid he's going to hyperventilate and pass out, so I turn toward him grabbing him around the back of his neck and kiss him with everything I've got. He responds immediately without thinking and before we know it we are in the air and he is pulling away.