BAD BOY ABUSED (male pov)

#36 I can't breathe.

"Uh... thanks." She replied awkwardly.

I smiled politely at her and then ran off towards the showers.

***

"So who are you hooking up with today?" Zak asked as he took a swig from his beer cup.

I squirmed uncomfortably with his question. I hadn't been fully truthful with my friends regarding the trouble I've been having with my sexlife, I wouldn't hear the last of it and I didn't fully understand it.

"Dunno, I'll find someone." I said as I rubbed the back of my neck.

"Olives here, you can start there." Jordan pointed over across the bonfire with his chin and my eyes followed in that direction.

Instantly seeing her through the naked flame, with the basketball player draping his arms over her shoulder. I turned away, not giving them the satisfaction of getting to me and knocked back more beer to take them away from my mind.

I sat in the sand watching the waves come crashing against my feet as I drank more beer, feeling my sobriety slip away with every sip. I felt someone sit next to me and I tensed as I prepared for the drunk girl to touch me. Sure as anything she lay her head on my shoulder, resting there as she silently watched the waves. I chugged back more beer.

"Can I help you?" I questioned, rippling through the silence.

"I hope so." She said with a flirty tone that told me exactly what she came for.

"Maybe later." I said, standing to my feet and shaking off the itchy feeling she left on my skin.

I turned around to head back to the bonfire but Olivia caught my attention, she was roasting marshmallows with the guy in sickenly sweet way. They looked so normal in a heart wrenching way, like their relationship would be uncomplicated and happy. I couldn't stop my feet from walking up to them.

"Awh, you guys are toasting marshmallows.... how sweet." I said sarcastically, with an evil tone that I couldn't hold back on.

"Yeah man, you want one bud?" he held the marshmallow packet out in my direction but I wasn't about to take his pity just because he's won the girl I want. So in an angry swipe I threw them out of his hand, watching them fall to the floor.

"I'm not your bud." I said coldly.

"No need to be like that." He said straightly as he bent down to pick up his marshmallows.

He was buying into exactly what I wanted. My fists itched for a fight and he was my most wanted target. The anger washed over me like a tidal wave and I shoved my body into his with a full force that knocked him down to the ground. My body was tense and needed a release and his face was going to be it. I followed him to floor, ignoring his profanities and climbed over him holding him down by the scruff of his shirt so I could properly attach my fist to his face.

I heard Olivia shouting my name but I ignored her, lets see how much she wants him when she knows he can't fight back. Lets see how much she likes the weaker man.

He threw his arms over his face to block my punches but that didn't slow me down. I kept launching them towards him with a full force that aimed to bruise. I felt two hands under my armpits, hoisting me up and preventing my punches. I stood up, shaking them off and walked down the beach away from the crowd.

I heard her shouting after me but I ignored her, feeling too lost to deal with her right now. I felt her hand on my shoulder, and I instantly froze, flinching away from her grasp. I wasn't expecting her to be so close to me. But with the rage that consumed me right now she needed to keep away, not touch me. I could hurt her.

"Don't touch me." I said with a low, intimidating voice that posed a warning threat.

"What the hell was that? You lost your shit over a marshmallow! What the fuck?" She sounded furious that I just picked a fight with her boyfriend. Her eyes illuminated through the darkness, shining with a hatred for me that I've never seen before. Well fuck her.

"Go away Liv... go back to the bonfire." Back to him.

"Why do you do this? You kiss me, you turn up at my house, you bite into my hot dog, you draw me pictures, you laugh and joke with me but then you flip the switch and start fights with my friends, avoid me, ignore me, tell me to go away, pick arguments. Whenever you let me in, you shut me out twice as fast."

I tilted my head back, pinching the bridge of my nose and searching for answers in the stars. Trying to remain calm but the fact that she was so angry over this fight was getting to me more than seeing them together. She never stands up for herself, but for him she was willing to release her heavy tongue and put me in my place. I was losing the grip I had on my control, or what was left of it. I was breaking down in front of her and I my lid was about to pop. I feared I would run back to the beach and kill him this time, or hurt her for making me so mad.

I looked her deep in the eyes, silently pleading with her to leave me alone for one last time but she stood tall, waiting for my answer. She wasn't going to back down so I shook my head and continued walking into the darkness.

I felt her hand smack against my back hard, the sound of the clash made me wince and I wanted to cower down, protecting myself against more that was about to follow. But after a moments of hesitation I continued walking, desperately trying to escape her.

"Oh what is with you pussying out whenever I touch you?" I heard her say through a mean voice.

As I got buried alive by the darkness and deafened by the drumming of my heart I knew she figured out my weakness. It didn't take much since she's witnessed my reactions to touch but hearing her say it outloud was a nauseating moment for me.

Then I felt her touch again. Deliberately throwing her hand against my back like hot knives burning into my flesh just to get to me. They left boils and scabs and made my insides bleed in pain. She figured out my weakness and now she was using it against me, just like I had always feared.

I struggled to breathe through my climbing panic and my body started trembling beneath her excruciating hands. He touched me, claimed my body as his own. I didn't want his hands on me but he still did it. I told him no. I told him to leave me alone. But I was too weak. His big hands clamping against my back, burning away my flesh leaving me with scars that ran so deep I got left permanently damaged.

I can't breathe.

I'm going to black out or throw up or combust.

I turned around to face her, showing her all that she has accomplished. Showing her she achieved what she wanted. I grabbed her wrists tightly, restricting her movement as I breathed through my intruding thoughts. Nothing was spoke between us for a few minutes, I couldn't talk. I just desperately tried to claw back my control.

"Y...your h...hurting my w...wrists." she choked out, holding back tears.

I looked down at my grasp against her hands but didn't feel confident enough to release them completely so I just loosening my grip but after a further few minutes I dropped her wrist completely, secretly praying she wouldn't attempt to touch me again.

"Fuck this." I muttered, walking back towards the bonfire to find my release in that girl I spoke to on the beach.