snapshots

[12] enough.

bus no. 642 ; route 343 → circular quay

eddy stared outside the window as he caught the morning bus to get to sydney's central business district. it was kinda far from his home, and he had to leave early to make it by 7am to his shoot.

"you sure you don't want me to go with you?" hyung asked over the phone that morning. "no, hyung. i'll be fine," eddy said, tossing under his blankets. it made familiar noises as he moved under it. he couldn't help but be reminded that it's been a month since...

"eddy?" hyung asked again, when he realized eddy wasn't listening. "we have clients coming to the studio today, right? word is word," eddy bit his nail, trying to calm himself down. "i'll call as soon as i get a hold of free time, yea?" eddy sat up on his bed and watched the sunrise slide into his window. hyung hummed over the line and hung up.

it was going to be a rough day, eddy knew that. he silently thanked hyung for not pressing anymore. eddy coped by drowning himself in work, and that meant he barely got any sleep. when he stared at his reflection at the bus's window, he couldn't help but feel too pathetic at his droopy eyes. his sadness was at its tipping point, and it was about to spill into his work life.

especially when the shoot he's headed to is for a fashion magazine brett had a contract with.

it was really unfair for eddy, you know? no matter how hard he worked, pieces of brett slip into his mind, and manifest in real life, too. the company had booked this shoot upon hilary's recommendation before brett left for europe, and even if every bit of eddy's skin wanted to back down, he couldn't. word is word.

the studio in the company's building was bigger and eddy had more backgrounds to choose from. there were multiple models involved as he had to photograph group promotional material for the gala. the shoot took longer than eddy had anticipated, but it's just harder to direct more models, that's all.

not because hilary's also watching him from behind, and he found it distracting, no. she was in charge of these other models, too, so it made sense that she was there. but eddy was clearly bothered, as hilary drilled her stare into eddy's skull.

when the shoot ended, eddy hurriedly packed up his equipment, not bothering the models who were clearly trying to give him their numbers. when the models gave up and left for lunch, hilary stayed behind. eddy felt even more nervous now, since she hadn't said anything since the shoot started.

as eddy struggled to zip his tripod's case, a beautifully manicured hand slid in between the zip to remove stray threads that got caught. eddy looked up and saw hilary. "t-thanks," eddy stammered, grateful for the small act of kindness. he slung the equipment over his shoulder, "i really have to go, hilary." hilary moved in front of eddy and blocked his path.

"i know you have all the reason to be angry," hilary said, cupping one of her hands on eddy's cheek, trying to read his thoughts. eddy froze in panic, not knowing how to react. "but how much longer can you sleep with a heavy heart, eddy?" hilary sighed, as she traced the darkened circles under eddy's eyes with the tips of her fingers.

eddy sighed, trying to push back tears, "for christ's sake, hilary. don't tell me how i should grieve." she held eddy by the wrist with her free hand. "i'm not telling you how to grieve, eddy. but don't grieve over something you haven't even lost yet." the heavy truth hung in the empty studio as eddy realized the weight of it all.

god, hilary knew how much brett was suffering on the other side of the globe. brett had told the truth to hilary first, since eddy hasn't returned his voicemails. "is eddy doing okay, hilary?" brett had asked her countless times over the past month. hilary understood why eddy would not talk to brett, but seeing that neither of them were doing well, she knew she had to intervene. it was going to take a toll on both of their careers if this kept going.