Midnight Stories

Last Birthday

Trigger warning: Suicide
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"Today, we are all gathered... to pay our last respect for a dear person for us," the priest started talking.

"She was a daughter, a sister, a friend, a colleague, who held a special place in our heart."

But it was hard for me to focus on his words. My eyes were blurry and wet with tears.

Today, my best friend just turned 18. And today, at midnight, on her birthday, she committed suicide.

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Nerissa and I were childhood friends. We lived in the same neighborhood, and went to the same schools until now. I mean, until her death.

Nerissa and I were practically glued to each other. We were always together. We liked the same things, we hated the same things, but luckily we never fell in love with the same person.

Well, that was only natural. I'm straight, and Nerissa was a lesbian. She came out to me in junior high, before finally being out and proud in high school. Although her family absolutely hated it and always tried to make her "normal" again.

Nerissa was... a girl who was like sunshine. Contrary to my introverted ass, Nerissa was a social butterfly who enjoyed attention and being in the crowd. If it weren't for her, I think I would've been bullied throughout my school years for being quiet and antisocial.

Nerissa was cheerful, always seen with a smile on her face. She was the mood-maker in each occasion. She always had interesting stories (which, inevitably, actually involved me too because I was always with her), and jokes that could make people weak on their knees from laughing too hard.

Nerissa was always up to date with the latest fashion. In our small town, she was like the trendsetter for kids our age. Nerissa liked to wear bright colors, like red or yellow.

Nerissa had many piercings on her ears. She said she would like to get piercings on her face or body too, but her family didn't let her.

Nerissa was not so bright with academics. But she wasn't that bad either. I think she was just lazy, not dumb. Before our tests, we would always study together. Although it was more like I studied while she lazed around watching youtube on her phone.

Nerissa was kind and empathetic. She always helped people in need, but in subtle ways, since she didn't want to be called pretentious (ridiculous, I know). In my eyes, Nerissa was someone who wasn't only fun, but also reliable, kind and positive.

Nerissa... was the last person I could've ever imagined to commit suicide.

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"Auntie, I'm here to drop off Nerissa's stuffs."

After the funeral, I came over to Nerissa's house. Nerissa stayed over in my place so often that she left so many things behind. She even bought a toothbrush to use when she was sleeping over at my place.

"Oh, just... leave them in Nerissa's room," Nerissa's mom had just stopped crying. I could see how swollen and red her eyes were.

"I'm sorry, I still can't go to Nerissa's room," she continued, trying hard to hold back her tears from coming down again.

"It's alright, Auntie. I'll go upstairs, okay? Excuse me," I politely made way upstairs, to Nerissa's room.

Nerissa's room looked the same as ever. Nothing seemed to change. It looked as if Nerissa was just here a moment ago. Her room even still smelled like sandalwood, her favorite scent for her diffuser. Seeing how "normal" her room looked, I felt strangely calm. I did cry a lot during the funeral, but I guess it hadn't sank in to me yet; that Nerissa is gone forever.