The Secrets Between You and Me

Chapter One

But with Mom going to Paris this summer, it seemed like a good opportunity for me to spend some time with my aunt. Besides, I needed to get out of Willowbrook for a while. A long while.

“Have you heard from Daddy today?” I asked, my voice breaking a little.

There was static on the phone and then I heard Mom clear her throat. I had taken her by surprise, and the one thing Marilyn Cohen did not like was to be caught off guard.

Rule #12: Never let yourself be surprised. Always have the upper hand.

“I spoke with him right before I called you,” Mom said, her voice tight and too high-pitched. “He told me about the people he’s getting to know at the resort. He’s having a great time.”

Resort. Mom always referred to it as “the resort.” As if Keller-Burns Rehabilitation Center was just a spa getaway. Rule #8: If reality wasn’t the way you wanted it to be, create your own.

“We’re pulling up to the airport now,” Mom said. “I have to go.”

My jaw ached from how hard I clenched my teeth together. “Fine. Call me when you land.”

“I will,” Mom said. “Behave yourself, Hannah. Kisses!”

“I love—”

The line went dead.

I frowned at the hogs in the truck ahead of me. “Be glad you don’t have to deal with your mothers,” I told them. Exit 53B finally came into sight and I veered off the interstate onto another one that sloped down into a green valley between the rolling, tree-covered mountains. In the distance, hazy blue peaks blended into the bright blue sky.

I rolled down the windows and took a deep breath of fresh air. If Mom could live in her fantasy world this summer, maybe I could too.

#

“I want you to not be Hannah Cohen this summer.”

I smirked at my life coach Mark Cavallo. It was our last session before the summer and I had already told him about my decision not to go to Paris with Mom and instead head to Asheville to stay with Aunt Lydia.

“Sure,” I said dryly. “Who should I be then?”

Mark pushed the loosely rolled sleeves of his white button-up shirt farther up his arms. “Be yourself, but be the you that you could be, not the you that everyone else wants you to be.” He leaned forward in his blue chair, his elbows propped on his knees. One shoelace on his brown loafers was about to come untied, but it didn’t seem to bother him. “You rely too much on your rules, Hannah. You’ve let these rules control everything you do in your life.”

I shifted on the plush green couch, avoiding Mark’s gaze. “It’s hard to fight against seventeen years of what my parents have drilled into my head.”

“Your parents are your parents, not you.” Mark rolled his chair across the brown carpet until he was back in my line of sight. He never let me get away with not making eye contact. “You have to step outside of your parents’ shadows and do your own thing. Take this summer as a test drive. Forget the rules and do what you want to do.”

A chill tickled its way up my spine under the red and white striped T-shirt I wore. The idea of not following the rules filled me with a cold panic. How would I know what to do? How would I keep from accidentally humiliating myself or my parents?

“This is your life, Hannah,” Mark said gently. His brown eyes looked honest and confident as he continued, “What you make of it is up to you. You can hold yourself back forever and keep ending up here in my office when you can’t handle the pressure. Or you can be who you want to be and live a happier life.”