Meant to be

Chapter 10: i just can't fight this feeling anymore!

Sidharth in his vulnerability said that which he actually did not mean. In fact he wanted Shehnaaz next to him, like she always was but he wanted to hide his vulnerability with aggression and knew that she would be very hurt by saying "dhoor rakh" to Asim, but Asim took this as a green signal to escalate and completely pull Shehnaaz down. That he would never allow, as long as he was in this house he would not allow anyone to completely crush her spirit and she had disappointed him how dare anyone else come in between that. So he immediately asked Asim to shut it down but the blow has stuck Shehnaaz had retreated hurt to her corner. As she was walking away Sidharth could her she was mumbling something udner her breath, it sounded something like "Shehnaaz kya yeh zaroori hai?"

Both of them were so weak without the other but both of them were equally confused at the intensity of their emotions.

Ofcourse BB was going to take advantage of this rift and they put Shehnaaz and Sidharth right against each other in opposite teams which further heightened their differences. At one point Shehnaaz out of her helplessness even declared that nothing but Sidharth ignoring hurt her, Sidharth genuinely even then did understand where he had failed her.

Their completely broken down state without each other was a reality and Sidharth was so helpless as he saw Shefali.z go at her, while he did not want Shehnaaz to realize this he immediately went and shut Shefali.z down. While they might not be together but she was everything still that he had grown to adore. He had realised over the last few days that she was still a cut above the rest. Never went personal or insulted or used sympathy to twist the argument to her benefit he was so angry at her because of her naïveté. Couldnt she see Paras was just using her.

When the task was going on at one point Sidharth and Himanshi were  leaning into each other and speaking intently. While there were many small moments that crushed Shehnaaz this seemed like the final straw. The one thing that she had released her defenses and claim as her own, now that too was being consumed by Himanshi. She decided that this was it she wanted to quit. She convinced herself that she has crawled out of far worse situations she would deal with the aftermath of quitting the show but she has to come again protect herself and witnessing this was killing her spirit slowly.

She defied BB???!!!! Sidharth could not believe that this girl had defied the very show that she revered. She refused to come out into the living room. He was so angry at everything and the fact that she was risking everything she had worked hard for by behaving defiantly. He was so afraid for her, she was too small a player to be pulling off their stunt. But the truth is Shehnaaz does not play stunts, she does what she feels like. Her brazenness comes from her honesty. She is so confidently crazy because she is so honest and transparent. In his mind he was cursing this distance between them. He was even cursing Paras who was just letting her defy BB like this. In a double whammy BB nominated him as well. Really could anything worse happen this week he wondered.

After he vented in the smoking room he came back into the main house and surreptitiously looked for her and she was nowhere to be found, he realized with a thud that it could mean only one thing that she was inside the confession room. There was not one person whom he could ask without betraying his emotion. He sat outside the bedroom area at the couch across the confession room, willing her to come out. What if she really quit the show? She was capable of such unpredictable behavior, it is what made him go crazy about her! Both in a good way and bad way! After what seemed like an eternity he heard some shuffling and he sat up! She walked out and was surprised at finding him looking directly at her. It was the first time in days they had looked at each other.

Their eyes tried to communicate everything they wanted to but their bodies and minds refused to follow. She moved away outside and went looking for Khesari!and he heard her shout "abey oh! Fake patidev, idhar ao! Muhje kuch Samajna hai!" Why him??? He thought irritatedly, when she could him sitting right there why did he have to go to someone else for advice. He needed to hear what was happening and he was getting frustrated that he was not able to reach out to her.

He could watch from where he was sitting that khesari and she in the seats opposite to the kitchen counter were deep in discussion and he could hear snatches of conversation like "pagli show chodhna itna aasaan hai kya?!" From
Khesari and then after sometime "mainay unsay poocha ki Kab tak amount dena padega" from the snatches of conversation he could gather it seemed like she was seriously contemplating quitting the show. Right when he was about to break his resolve and walk upto her and take her away and knock some sense into her arati started screaming "thappad
Khaayegi sana! Tujhe patha bhi hai kya soch rahi Hai tu? Contract todnay ki aukaat toh hai nahi! Kehti BB sey bolungi key baahar jaakey
Flat bhejke amount bhardoongi! BB tera koyi langotiya yaar hai! Bakwaas karti hai ladki pagan! Chup chaato abhi yeh dramey bandh karo aur bartan dhokey doh! Dal chad Gaya, sabzi banaani hai."

Sidharth was never so thankful for arti and her meddling nature! Shehnaaz seemed to have piped down after this and went about her chores about the house. Man! He knew it was going to be tough but he was not prepared for this emotional struggle that too for a girl he did not know outside. What a way to make a fool of himself!

Both of them were wrung our emotionally, physically and mentally. That night arti was telling Shehnaaz how tensed Sidharth when she was in the confession room and that how keenly he was listening on her conversation about leaving the show. She even told Shehnaaz that Sidharth was running a temp and was looking really sick on the evening. Shehnaaz's resolve broke and she approached him, for what she did not know but she wanted to touch him. She was running on empty and he was the only thing that her tired self wanted.

Things did not go as planned and she ended up startling him! Or so she thought. As an upset and embarrassed Shehnaaz scurried back to her bed, Sidharth settles himself to a peaceful sleep because inspite of his fever the fact that she reached out to him spread over his senses like a balm and that brought a lot of relief and comfort to him.

Thank you for stopping by and hope you liked the update!