Sweet Caroline

#35 Making the world a little better every day

"Obviously, you'll never have to talk to him on your own again," Jeff Charlston tells me. "If he ever wants a parent-teacher conference, I will handle it. You'll just give me your notes and I'll talk to him. I can't legally ban him from the school, but I'll make it clear to him that we'd prefer it if he never shows his face again."

"This society..." I groan, feeling like I need a drink. "Men like that are raising kids. Nice, energetic, good kids like Manny and Tommy. I wish that we could prevent kids like that from becoming pigs one day as well."

"We are doing that," Jeff tells me gruffly. "At least, we try. Teachers are important, Caroline. You are important. What you did for Rose is only an example. You may not be a parent, but you do teach kids values, morals, to know right from wrong. I'm not saying that none of the kids in your class will end up pigs or criminals or rapists, but I can promise you that you're doing the very best you can. And so am I. We can't fix the world, but we are making it better every single day. Don't doubt that."

I look at him as he grows silent and pensive. Memories of what he said that night of the dance come back to me. "Mr. Charlston..."

"Jeff," he corrects me.

"Jeff," I repeat. "What happened to your daughter, if you don't mind me asking?"

He closes his eyes and leans back in his chair. "She killed herself. I really don't want to talk about it. It's too painful. Let's just say that she wrote a disturbing story for the school paper when she was in high school. And instead of calling me or my wife, the teacher told her off for writing something so... inappropriate." His eyes open and he looks so infinitely sad that it hurts me. "He came to the funeral and he was so heartbroken, so sorry, so torn up that he hadn't recognized her cry for help. He could have been the change she needed, but he only made her feel worse."

"That's... I'm so sorry."

Jeff grunts and rubs his eyes. "Yeah, me too." He pulls himself back together and smiles sadly at me. "Education is more than just grammar and fractions, Caroline. No matter what grade a kid is in, they need us to be there for them, to try and see the signs. To raise them when their parents are fucking it up like the Thompsons are doing. And no, we can't fix everything and we, too, will miss things and fuck up. But we can never stop trying. Never."

"I won't," I promise him.

He smiles again, a little more genuine this time. "I know, Caroline. Like I said, there's a fulltime job waiting for you next year. Gary is going to retire, so more hours will be available for you. I already told Tiffany that she can have a fulltime job too if she wants one. Teachers like the two of you are hard to come by. I think this school is lucky to have you."

I grow uneasy under his praise. If he knew that I was dating Nathan, he wouldn't be looking at me with such pride. Part of me hopes he will never find out, but that would mean that me and Nathan don't make it and that's not what I want. Either way, I'm screwed.

I call John and Tiffany as I walk home to fill them in on what happened. Not because I want to keep reliving it, but because they'll be the ones teaching tomorrow and I don't want Mr. Thompson to try something on Tiffany next or try to spin the story to John. They are both appalled, but since they already knew what happened at the dance, they aren't all that surprised. I ask Tiffany to go out for a drink that night. She agrees to a quick drink at the bar after dinner, not wanting to be out late on a school night. Her weekend hasn't started yet, after all.

When I get home, I'm already looking forward to seeing Tiffany later that night and having that drink I so desperately need. I don't usually drown my sorrows in alcohol, but I just need to unwind and hang out with a friend. It's already dinner time and I'm too spent to cook, so I just throw a pizza in the oven. I decide not to wait until later tonight to have a glass of wine and pour myself one, sipping it as I walk over to the couch.