To the unfortunate victim of my uncontrollable sexual desires:
I'm sorry. I know you cannot read this letter (and I hope someone is reading this to you right now), but I want you to know I truly am sorry.
It all started last night. Your front door was unlocked. That was your first mistake. I slowly crept up to your room and gently pushed your door open. You were obviously in a deep sleep, I could hear you snoring. I started the procedure, first by putting you under anaesthesia to make sure you wouldn't suddenly wake up. After that, I froze the area around your eyes so you wouldn't feel anything. I took out my scalpel and carefully cut your eyelids off so I could reach your eyes easier. I used forceps to pull your eyes out enough to sever the optic nerve. After cleaning your eye sockets, I kissed you on the cheek, hid your eyes in my pocket and went home as if nothing happened.
When I got home, I cleaned the blood off your eyes with water and wiped excess fluids off with a towel. I walked to my bedroom with your gelatinous spheres of sight, turned off the lights and laid down in bed. I slowly pushed one of your eyes up my vagina. Your eyes gave me the most pleasurable experience of my life, and I thank you for that. The walls of my vagina started convulsing. I moaned and expelled the eye with such force I woke up and realized I should probably stop writing sexual shitposts at 3:00AM, go to sleep and get a life.
