"I'm sorry guys, it won't happen again I promise," I tell the ladies around me who don't seem happy but just take me to the ice bath.
"I was wondering where- Champ are you okay!" Carli asks shooting out the ice bath as I'm helped in
"I'm fine Jesus, just get me under the ice and I'll be back to normal in no time," I say only to be practically pushed in headfirst by Christen and Tobin.
"Okay what the hell guys, was that really necessary," I ask coming up with my hair dripping.
"Next time don't make us carry you all the way from the field" Tobin points out as they all leave the room.
I just roll my eyes back at them and shuffle my body to the edge of the mini pool, letting my arms spread across the side to hold me up and let out a content sigh only to open my eyes and see Carli giving me the Hope Solo death glare
"Okay Jesus what did I do to you now," I ask wondering why literally everyone is pissed with me
"You're not looking after your body Hayley, you of all people should know how important it us to care for your mind and body," Carli tells me
"Yes mama I know that, and I know what I'm doing alright, you wouldn't understand anyway," I say mumbling out the last past and looking down at the ice floating around me
"Hayley, look at me champ," Mama says softly and I can't do it because there are tears already in my eyes
"Please look at me sweetie," She says even softer and swims her way over next to me
"I need to be the best Mama, I can't drop back down again, I can't struggle to kick a ball as I did before," I say finally looking up as the tears run down my face
"And you won't ever have to Hayley, you got past that rock in your road and made it here today but pushing yourself to the point of exhaustion isn't going to help you champ" Carli tells me, her arm wrapped tightly around my shoulder
"You don't have anything to prove to anyone but yourself, you don't need to show the world how you've come back by trying to be the impossible because everyone already knows you're the best player in the world" She carries on says as I bite my lip to look at her
"I just want to be good enough for her mama, she said I would never be good enough" I continue to cry out my head dropping onto her shoulder
"you stop right there missy, you are good enough for anybody and she's not family anymore we are, and we love every single inch of you, you hear me?" Carli says grabbing my shoulders so we're looking each other in the eyes
"Can we go see my wife now please," I ask quietly to which Carli nods her head in response to.
She helps me stand up from the bath, my legs still slightly numb from the game but the ice helped massively and I only need to slightly lean into Carli's touch. As soon as we walk into the locker room everyone heads turn our way and words are being shouted out at me.
My ears can't take the loud noises and I can feel a sensory overload coming on already. Even though I had the surgery to correct my stutter past problems didn't go away either meaning I can still have my little episode out loud noises, stress or high emotions
"Guys shut up please! My wife is about to have a sensory overload" I hear Kelley say and soon enough she's wrapped her arms around the back of me and lowered us to the floor.
The room is silent now which helps massively but it still doesn't mean I can't hear every little thing going in right now, the sound of cleats on the hard floor, the metal lockers being slammed shut, every noise is making me flinch more and more
Pushing too hard - (Her Knight)
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