Shattered

Part One ~ Porcelain Heart

~Nancy~

I could never explain the kind of hurt I felt sitting across the table from him that night. It was emptiness. Betrayal. A loneliness that reached so deep that not even being surrounded by people could help.

But that pain turned to numbness as I plastered on a smile and rose to my feet. I cleared my throat and all eyes at the table turned to me. Joe, Mr. and Mrs. Chandler, Frank... Chelsea. I lifted my glass of sparkling cider and spoke, "as I'm sure you all know, someone very special to me has just gotten into a relationship."

I looked around the table, avoiding Frank's eyes as I continued, "so I propose a toast... to Frank and Chelsea."

The others stood and held their glasses as well. Chelsea was the first to raise her glass with me, her dazzling smile reflecting the candlelight. "To true love!"

My smile almost faltered, but I refused to let it.

Mr. Chandler raised his glass without hesitation, "to a long and prosperous journey as a couple."

Oh Lord, why did I do this?

Mrs. Chandler followed, "to young love in the city of lights."

Joe slowly raised his glass, shifting his glance from Frank to me. "To... love."

I would have felt amused by Joe's less than tactful choice of words if I wasn't only barely holding in tears.

Frank brought his glass up last and I could feel his eyes on me, but I didn't dare meet them, "to the girl I love."

I could practically hear my own heart shattering all over again. Nancy, you idiot. It was never you, it will never be you. Stop moping and be happy for your best friend.

The glasses clinked and we each took a sip of the cider. I had to force myself to get down even the tiniest sip.

The others sat back down, but I stayed standing. "I-I think I'm going to head back to the hotel now." I turned to the Chandlers, "thank you for a lovely dinner. How much do I owe you?"

Mr. Chandler shook his head, "it's on us. Consider it a thank you to you and your friends for finding that inheritance."

I nodded, murmuring a thank you and quickly leaving the table, trying to control my breathing. I shouldn't have come, I'm falling apart all over again. Why didn't I play sick?

I plucked my coat from the rack at the door before exiting into the cool, spring night, and starting down the sidewalk. It was a pretty long walk from the restaurant to the hotel, but I didn't care. There wasn't a reason to care any more. Me and the Hardys had solved the case two nights ago and we only had three more days in Paris. Then the Hardys and I would go separate ways, with Frank working out a long distance relationship from Bayport to France. And with me working out how to pick up the broken pieces of my own heart.

For the first time that night, a scalding tear traced a painfully familiar trail down the side of my face. How could I have been stupid enough to make myself so vulnerable? I gave him the most delicate part of me, I trusted him with it fully. He handled it admittedly well, let me down as gently as he could manage. Too bad it doesn't take much to shatter porcelain.

I pulled my lilac trench coat tighter around me and kept my eyes glued to the ground. Did I hold anything against him or Chelsea? No. Not at all. My pain was my own fault, not anyone else's. I'm the one who waited for two years to finally tell him how I felt.