Sometimes all I want is to be held all day...reminded by another of the good i already is there within me
Sometimes i crave that intimacy that comes with platonic energy...building with specifically those people- unblinding light...bokeh streaks in front and behind.
Sometimes i wish i werent remembered by everyone because sometimes that little voice starts laughing....a healthy heavy belly of condescension and passionate loathing
Sometimes i wish i would jump out the window and fly...forcing all eyes on me and my tears would paint the cloud pink, orange, blue and green...prettier than any sunset ever seen before.
Sometimes i wish the drop to the ground was further down...just a little more tempting, but that wouldnt make dad proud. And mommy would be forever sad- and id still be the problem child even though im dead.
Sometimes i just want hella attention but it isnt ever enough, never overwhelming enough, it isnt getting better the longer im logged in and the trust- who am i kidding? Original recipe for disaster...persistent anger as it swallows me whole.
Sometimes i just want to be left alone...to my own devices, vices and whiny ass needs.
Sometimes I silently kill myself over thoughts wishin I was back with one of those goonie boys from the past...one of most desire being the one that i couldnt look past even with his unfaithful pleas...i just sometimes want someone to love me deeper than im tryna learn how to love me.
Bt the simple fact is: i dont yet love me as deep as i plead. Im still trying.
Thats why im tryna convince, remind and reassure myself of one fact...i have to find my own way first then start down that path. Dont break this pact with myself...for a sometimes.
You know...sometimes I want my grandma back. I miss her voice and her picture isnt enough to make me stronger than that. Bt im tryna be.
I miss my family n this distance is killin me...stuck in a cage again and i only wanna be out of it.
Hopefully this is just an emotional surge...lack of proper outletting. Simple light making its way thru the dark and over to me so i can finally be truly remembered....just one time.
KAMU SEDANG MEMBACA
Tapped Energy
PuisiReaching for new energy... A new wave to match the changing times... New flow to keep up with synesthete vibes... Changes to transform into me... Here's the first try.
