Chained to my brain

Projection babeyy

"Well, I can't say for sure, but its almost like he isn't here." Her eyes widened. "Sorry 'pollo, I gotta do a bit of digging!" She ran off somewhere. Leaving Apollo on his own.

He sighed and continued to do his job.

———————

"I've got it!" Athenas yell could clearly be heard as she barged into the office.

Trucy looked up from her book at Athena, a bit confused. "You got what?"

"Apollo asked me to do something." She said, grabbing onto the shorter mans arm and dragging him to the bathroom. "We'll be back in a sec, just gotta talk in private."

Trucy shrugged, and snuggled back into the couch as they left.

Athena slammed the door shut, and sat to the wall, sliding down. Apollo followed her lead and sat on the ground next to her. He cleaned the bathroom enough to know it wasn't gross.

Athena sighed, getting out a piece of folded up paper. "Alright, this stuffs sorta... Weird. I think I figured out what Klavier Gavins problem is, looking at his symptoms and what he's told me, although it isn't particularly well known."

Apollos eyes widen "He just.. Told you?"

"Oh yeah, he was pretty chill with telling me actually, I think he was happy to get it off his mind, I wrote down all the symptoms I could gather and did some comparing to something an old friend used to have and it matches up pretty well." She unfolded the paper, and read off his symptoms "Distraction, dissociation, pacing or other repetitive movements, confusion of dreams with reality, insomnia, and frequent daydreaming, often triggered by music or other stimuli and lasting for hours. Theres way more but those are sorta the big ones."

"and..?"

Athena Cykes huffed, in the 'do I have to spell everything out' way that your uber talented friends do when they don't realize that no, your gerbil brain is not on the same level as theirs.

"Its probably maladaptive daydreaming disorder, its often developed as a coping mechanism for some other mental illness, but it can easily take over someones life. In the most basic of ways, its frequent, obsessive daydreams that interfere with your life. Theres no cure or medication, but there are coping mechanisms which you can use."

Several emotions hit Apollo

He knows whats wrong so he can help but theres also no cure, he feels like crying and laughing. Its just... Ridiculous.

"Hey I know you've got a big crush on the dude, but no need to look so stressed about it. As I said, theres ways to cope."

Apollo nods, he doesn't particularly feel like fighting the uphill battle about his thing for Gavin, its really not the time. "What can I do to help?"

"For the most part, just support him and keep him distracted and anchored so he cant drift off. You being with him is definitely an anchor, so just your presence could help in all honesty."

Apollo nods, already planning on asking Klavier out for lunch.

———————

Klavier had a lot of things happening at the moment, good things though.

Fräulein Cykes had approached him, telling him about how she noticed how off he'd been recently, and asked if she could do a quick session with him. He agreed, mostly because well, she might be able to help with the bloody hell that has been getting out of his head recently. (Klavier could barely do his work, all his free time, and more of his work time than he'd care to admit was spent in his mind.)

When she came up with an idea of what may have been happening- maladaptive daydreaming disorder- he felt... confused more than anything else. A disorder, apparently so unknown that it couldn't even be treated, or easily diagnosed? But all the symptoms were there, there really wasn't any other thing it could be.

It was nice to have a name to it, even if it was a bit useless.

Apparently theres ways to cope, spend time with other people, keep active, avoid listening to music in situations when you need to avoid dissociation. Really just... Avoid having time on your hands. Theres no doubt he's still going to do it, no matter what, but apparently he could reduce it to the point where he could live again and really, that was enough of a blessing.

Apollo also started being more active in his life.

The shorter man took him up on his offers for lunch, invited him out places even. It was really nice, he was really nice, he reminded Klavier of so many good things, in a way that wouldn't drag him back. Although at many times, it almost felt like he knew what the Fräulein told Klavier...

A nagging voice tugged at his brain. 'hes only doing this out of pity.'

'its fine,' he nagged right back 'Apollos an honest man, he wouldn't do that.'

———————

So. He knew.

Klavier, like the foolish man he was, asked if Apollo knew. And the man said yes.

'Of course this was pity, what did you expect'

Klavier slumped into his couch, his posture bent, he almost slipped back into his brain because well... What else do you do?

Apollo walked over and sat down next to him. "If it makes you feel better, the reason why I know is because asked Athena to use the mood matrix because I was worried about you and how you seemed so out of it, she ran off after some sorta realization and did some research or whatever, and then told me what she gathered and how to help."

"... So you noticed I was off, not Fräulein Cykes."

Apollo sighed, nodding. "Yeah."

A pause

"At least tell me if you were doing it out of pity."

Apollos eyes widened, and he shook his head. "Of course not! Your my friend you know?" Apollo said, and he gently grabbed Klaviers hands. "I wanted to help"

Klavier looked down at their intertwined hands, a blush rising to his face.

'Well, whats a bit more foolishness?' He thought as he leaned over.

Apollos lips tasted like cinnamon and more than what he could ever dream of, and he felt the most real he had in months.

———————

There will always be days when its hard to focus, and Klavier will probably always feel the urge to slip and let himself be consumed during work, but at least he's got Apollo to help out a bit now, even if it is a bit awkward having him walk in on him acting out a scene now and then.

———————

My loved ones are huge anchors on reality to me, if it wasn't for them I'd probably hardly ever get out of my damn head.
Maladaptive daydreaming isn't really one of those things you can just.. not do. You'll always have a little chunk of time in your day where you'll do it, and if you don't find that chunk its going to keep you up at night. Its really a matter of just making sure you do other things than daydream every day as well. Honestly theres a lot of fun stuff about maladaptive daydreaming as well, but its impossible to control outside of the few things you can do to distract yourself, which in my opinion is the hardest part of it.