From Here on Out

Chapter 1

Chapter 1:

Heartbreak

"Cut!"

Narinig ko ang malakas na boses ng director. A lot of sighs were heard as well as the sounds of equipment moving. I heard whispers and the sound of a disappointed grunt. Tumingin ako sa director. After a split second, I looked away from his angry eyes at tiningnan ang maliit na bottle ng isang kilalang shampoo brand.

Reset. Spi. You have to reset.

Huminga ako ng malalim. I closed my eyes and played a scenario in my head.

Papunta ako sa isang club to party and my hair is gorgeous, luscious and full of volume. I meet someone in the crowd. I smile.

I smile.

I smile.

I smi-

I opened my eyes again. Why can't I see myself smiling? I have to picture myself smiling. I need to rethink things through first.

Pumunta ako kay Annie, ang manager ko. Kanina pa itong mukhang iritado at alam kong ako ang dahilan. Galit na galit na ang director. Pagod na rin ang mga staff. And it's all because of me.

"Annie..."

"Oh! Ano na naman ang gagawin mo? Ilang oras na ang nakalipas bago ka nag retake ng scene na ito. Binigyan ka pa ng break pero anong nangyari? NG lahat Mel. NG! Hindi ka ganito noon? Pang-ilan na ba ito?" Bungad niya sa akin. She's touching her temples and closing her eyes. She's mad and frustrated.

"Pupuntahan ko lang si Direk." I said while looking at the direction of where the director is. I have to apologize. I have never inconvenienced a set this much before.

"Direk Quin.-" Pambungad ko sa nakaupong babae. She looks so stressed right now.

"Melody. Alam ko na you value your work ethic and that you always strive to be the best but I'm afraid we have to end the shoot now. Everyone is tired and it's way behind schedule already." Bungad niya na hindi man lang ako liningon.

"Pero-"

"The first take was okay. We could use that scene. After all, this is just a commercial." I was about to ask about the scene. I guess she read my thoughts. However, this just doesn't sit right with me. This isn't just a commercial for me, this is someone's idea and I have the responsibility to recreate the idea. But ang director ang may sabi sa kung ano ang gagawin. If she says to stop the shoot, I'll oblige. Just this time, though.

"I'm really sorry, Direk. I'm sorry." I bowed to her.

After that, I heard her announce her decision to everyone. They all sighed in relief. I walked past them and bowed apologetically to each. Some forced a smile while others just ignored me. I get their attitude towards me. They must have someone waiting back at their homes.

I headed towards the dressing room and put down the bottle of shampoo on the table. I sat down in front of the mirror and looked at myself. Long and wavy black hair. Deep brown eyes. A small nose. Luscious lips. And a mouth pressed into a thin line.

I don't want to look at that. I am not like this.

Leaning my head back, I exhaled. It's frustrating. I'm frustrated and angry at myself. Hindi ko inexpect na magtagal ang shoot na ito. I thought I could do it in only a few takes. I was going to meet someone around 4 pm. Tiningnan ko ang orasan, 6 pm. The shooting started at 10 am and was supposed to end at 3 pm.

I texted him at around 4 that I'd be late. Just never this late. What should I do? It's been 6 months since I last physically saw him. Gusto ko siyang mayakap. God. I badly need one too.