Finer Things // h.s.

Paris or Bust

Surely, I haven't been recognised?

The boy looks to be around his early teens sporting a Ralph Lauren polo and denim shorts.

"Madame Tilly Jackson!" He says as he reaches me, his father catching up behind him. His Dad has the same type of moustache as mine and it makes me feel lonely. I miss home for a second.

"Un autographe?" He says with a large smile taking over his cheeks and I feel a warm feeling in my chest arise. I sign the paper with a pen, and we pose for a photo together.

"C'etait vraiment un plaisir de vous rencontrer." I say with a large smile which I believe translates to, 'It was really nice to meet you.' Melody made me memorise and learn a few slogans that will assist me in my travels in France. I walk away and put my hands in the pockets of my cream coloured corduroy pants. The blue sky above my head makes me happy and I feel the sun tanning my arms. I think it's good for me to be out on my own. I don't necessarily get time to myself anymore in LA because of the constant go, go, go lifestyle. It's been fun being able to have James in my life over the past few months, we've become quite close having regular brunch together when we can, spending nights together rehearsing lines together for our individual projects and whatnot. There's been rumours surfaced about our friendship being more but I'm slowly developing the mindset that people are going to talk about me whether I want them too or not.

I continue to stroll down the avenue, window shopping as I go. The sun begins to set so I make my way back to the main street to get a cab back to the hotel. I pull my phone out of my bag and begin to dial the number of a local cab company, another thing Melody made me memorise. As I'm about to press the dial button I look at the city around me in awe, the streets still busy with life as the golden glow of the sunset embraces the pavement, illuminating the windows. I put my phone back in my bag and walk down the street, taking in the view as I do.

******

5:57pm

Harry: My phone misses your call. - H

Tilly: But not you?

Harry: You know what I mean, Tilly.

I look at the text messages on my phone as I lay on the hotel bed in my robe, hair in a towel. Why all of a sudden is he messaging me after all these months? I look around the empty room and my heart takes me back to the feeling of waking up without him in London. I feel a sudden sadness but its quickly consumed by anger and I'm not sure why.

Tilly: What if I don't? It's not like we've spoken about what happened that night.

Harry: Can we not do this right now? Just enjoy your time in Paris, I'm sure you're loving it.

Tilly: If not now than when?

Harry: I can't talk about this right now Tilly but I want you to know I miss you so much. Best friends always?

Tilly: Maybe we fucked it up. Our friendship that is...

Harry: Nothing could ever fuck our friendship up, even a dumb hook up. Promise you'll stop by a shop in the South of France, it's a ring shop and I know you'll love it. L'anneau De La Flore. Safe travels. Are you coming home for Christmas? – H

I look at my screen and feel a sickness arise in my stomach. 'a dumb hook up'. The words play over in my head and I sit up in the bed and throw my phone to my side. I feel my eyes begin to water so I wipe quickly with my sleeve. He thinks it was dumb... a mistake... I bite down on my lower lip to ease any need for tears and close my eyes, squeezing them together.

"Fuck." I say under my breathe. I stand to my feet and feel nauseous. All kinds of thoughts clouding my mind as I walk to the bathroom and lean over the sink, staring into the eyes of my own reflection.

He regrets it.

It was wrong.

This is why he doesn't talk to you anymore.

I fucked up.

I should never have kissed him.

You're so, so stupid.

I feel my stomach do backflips and as I lean further in I feel everything I ate in the last twelve hours arise and before I know it the entire content of my stomach is in the bathroom sink, slowly going down the drain which makes me feel even more queasy. I turn around and sit down on the bathroom floor, pressing my knees to my chest, folding my arms over them and resting my head onto them. 'a dumb hook up.' My mind repeats over and over again.

I hear the door of the hotel room open and I know its Melody because she's the only one who has a key for access to my room. I don't bother getting up because I'm sure if I did, I'd burst into tears. I guess that night meant more to me than I thought it did.

"Tilly?" The familiar deep American accent calls out to me from the living room.

"James." I say under my breathe as my mind comprehends whose here. Although it's strange he's here I couldn't be happier James has arrived. I stand to my feet, pulling myself up... as weak as I feel. I walk myself to the living room and wipe away at my puffy face in hopes James doesn't realise what I've been doing for the last half hour.

"What're you doing here?" I say, wrapping my robe closer to my chest. I look at him standing before me with a suitcase and a bag at his feet.

"Good to see you too Tilly." He says with a playful giggle, but I feel my tears swell in my eyes again and I know this time there's no stopping it.

"Wait are you okay?" He says rushing over to me.

"I- Look its just –" I say as I burst into tears. I fall into his arms and begin to feel myself pull at his shirt to be closer to him.

"You don't have to tell me but I'm here and I won't go anywhere, not while you're like this." He says as I begin to sob into his chest.

I know this sounds horrible and as much as I'm happy James is here, for whatever reason it is, I wish Harry were here instead of James. 

JUST A NOTE TO READ: 

If you guys want something in particular to happen in this story comment it here and I'll incorporate it to the story whether its an outfit, a destination etc!

- M