Numb

I lay there awake
Stomach growling
Mind racing
Head foggy
No sleep tonight nothing out of the usual
I know I do this every time
I thought it would be fun
I can say I don't need you
But you make me so calm
Little do I know just what you actually do to me
You make me so violent
I spew hate at my loved ones face
I've punched holes in walls, broken things, brought myself down to the lowest degree
You got me always on edge
You play tricks with my mind I try to tell myself I'm fine
Maybe I'm just blind
Your bitter sweet kiss escapes my lips
It's not something I will ever forget
I know why now
As your toxic self invades my brain
It's truly you who make people crazy, it isn't a dream.
You make me be social
And also very blue
If you can take me to the depths of hell
I'll let you In
I know I shouldn't but it's reoccurring
Every time i get closer to you I'm here
Your promise to take all my pain away with just one kiss should tell me too run
I've had you once
I've had you twice
I've had you so many times
Each time isn't good enough
You make my friends angry
And crazy
But all you seem to do is make me numb and angry