Hamilcast one-shots 😚🦁

(Lippa) Choices... Regrets...

I sighed and fetched the tv remote, so I could stalk my love on the big screen, sounds creepy I know. I switched it on and went to YouTube, I logged into my private account that Steven doesn't know about which is basically just filled with Lin related videos.

I started watching a bunch of random ones which made me smile real smiles, not the ones I faked for Steven. Then I came across one that was Lin answering BuzzFeed questions while playing with puppies.

I clicked on it obviously intrigued by it, it started off and it was literally just what the title said, but incredibly adorable. The way he played with the puppies made me fall for him even more if that's possible.

The voice that he used was adorable and he kept on trying to be professional but the puppies were not gonna let him do that.  Guppy kept on licking him too and Lin let him and it was just so cute. (sorry I got carried away, the video is just adorable)

But then one question was asked and I felt like I needed to know what the answer was as soon as possible.

"How do you maintain such a positive outlook on life?" the question read.
"Oh, I'm as messed up and broken inside as anybody else..... But I'm well aware that you get what you put out into the world so I try when I'm tweeting, which is a terrible addiction of mine, to just sort off put out what I want to see...." he answered, my heart broke a little because I know I was the one who made him broken, and believe me it hurts me so much, so much that I almost hurt myself once.

The video was over and a shook my head to get that out of my head, I hate remembering the fact that I hurt him. So I started searching for some new ones, I found one where he was on James Cordon, so I clicked on it.

It was the one where he was in the blue suit and he was dancing similar to his childhood self, it was adorable, I saw another clip from the same interview so I clicked on it and started to watch it.

It was all cute until Cordon asked him "Have you got any tattoos? You sporting any ink?".
To which he replied with "I do I just, I just got one, I got my wife's initial on my ring finger there... Don't know if you can see that".

The whole audience 'awed' at that and I have to admit that it is adorable how he did that for his wife. But it also hurt me, the fact that he's moved on hurts but I'm fine with it as long as he is happy.

I went through a couple of other videos and I found one from the Academy Awards, something about 'trio of documentaries".

I watched it and then the last part got me again, jeez, why am I like this, why am I still jealous. I have an amazing husband, why can't I stop thinking about Lin?

Well maybe because he is so sweet to his wife and always doing things for her, it makes me think what would've happened if I chose him. Would he be the best husband and probably best dad? I think so, but I gave that up so yea.

"Well have fun tonight... Are you going out after?" the man asked.
"Uh yeah, I'm gonna, I mean look at my wife, I'm gonna take her everywhere... She looks amazing!" Lin answered excitedly and just purely happy.