Love me not

The beginning after an end

Things aren't the way it was supposed to be, why does it has to be like this? Do i have a chance to get over it.

My life has always been a disaster but now, i dont even know how can i describe it. Its like I became worse than the worst teeanage boy ever to live in this planet.

Come on, just look at this ugly eyes that is too boring and ugly hair, which is too long for a guy, a skinny body with a few muscles or so i thought. A height of 5'5" which is a lot more troublesome cause in this town i am the smallest among the guys, even some girls are more taller than me. Ughhh why do i have to look like this by the way?

I'm pretty sure its my parents fault because they gave birth to me when all im doing was not existing at all, they even planned to name me as Julie when they can see this dangling thingy I have between my legs.

Yes, they named me as a girl, the same name as my aunt who i dont know her whereabouts and I.Dont.F*ckin.Care to know if she's still alive or not. This freaking name is what had brought disaster to my whole life the same time with this looks i have.

The only good thing i can see right now is that i can finally explore and be free among this idiotic people in this crappy old town called Malibourn. The name really sucks for me but not greater than the people that live in it. They are far more scukers than the name of that town.

Anyway, tomorrow is the day when i can go away and start my college in my other aunt's house that lives in new york city.

And yes, it is the city that i wanted to go with as i can finally leave this old town that can be found far away from civilization.

I am half-heartedly glad that my aunt Celly choses to adopt me and decided to pick me up in this town after a year of waiting until i graduated highschool.

Well im sort of alone there cause my parents decided to go to heaven without me, just like leaving me all by myself and let me be independent but come on, how can an 16 year old boy survive alone? I dont even know where should i go and live as our old house has been corrupted by my mother's, quote here with big exclamation mark, family.

They are hungry monstrous vultures who doesn't even care to my well being as they say "You're already 18, you can take care of yourself" and some "Go find a job, you already in a legal age" like i am not their fucking family member.

Enough with those fools and their greedy ass, here i am packing my oh so many things that i successfully hidden before those vulture were able to enter my old house.

I have my black backpack that has my name knitted in a pink cursive letters. It is one of my loved gifts from my mom whom she gave it to me for my first day in highschool. It is the time when i had this big smile and innocent eyes that hold a lot of happiness. The time when i say " I love you mom you're the greatest mom ever"

I miss her

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I guess i have to stop it before i cry a river again.

Well, inside this bag i have my personal items. My diary, important files of mine such as id's and other legal stuff, my laptop with its charger, photo album of my family as i cannot leave it there evethough it kinda hirts me to see it. I also have another bag for my clothes and thats all.

With my phone at hand, i set the alarm early in the morning as those people will come in the house at noon and i prefer not to see them before i leave.