Fifty Shades of Green

CHAPTER 2

// bit of fluff in this//

I sit in the chair across from the metal desk. I see a figure in a large chair, and clear my throat.

"E-excuse me? I'm here for my interview..."

The chair slowly turns around, and a girl that looks maybe a bit older than me, with large glasses, and wavy brown hair greets me with an out-stretched hand.

"Nice to meet you, Jeff" she says

"I am pleased to meet you-" I look at the name tag which is just over her left breast that reads Hayden "-Hayden"

Her face contorts, and she rises from her chair. The next thing I know, I am face down on the ground. She back handed me with such force, that I flew off of my chair, and blood filled my mouth from biting down on my cheek.

She raises her voice "YOU WILL ADDRESS ME BY TOP SHREK, AND NOTHING ELSE! FOOLISH CHILD."

I get up, and shield my face, preparing myself for another blow. "I-I'm deeply sorry for wronging you, oh Top Shrek."

I sit back on the chair, and so does she.

"Congratulations, you have displayed affection, and sought repentance. You have passed the first inspection."

"Th-thank you?" I answer

"Are you ready for the first question?" She asks and I nod "It's pretty simple, and no pressure, but if you can't answer correctly, you can make your way out of the building."

I gulp "Um- Y-yes Top Shrek"

The leader of The Shrekettes is pretty scary.

"What is a six letter word describing what onions have?" She asks

"Onions have layers, of course." I reply

"Very well, now, what do ogres have? It's another six letter word of course" She says, and raises an eyebrow.

I know she is trying to make me think that this is a trick question. "Well, ogres... Ogres have... Layers." I respond with a grin.

She smiles "Very good." She takes things down on her clip board "Very... Intelligemt... Outside of the box way of thinking." She whispers to herself.

Several oral questions later, I am handed a questionare to be answered. I ace it, and get asked the final question- the question that holds the most importance.

"If you caught someone on your property, or invading your personal dwelling, what would you say to them? Perhaps, stay off my property? Or, get off my lawn?" She arches an eyebrow.

"I would say, 'What are you doing in MY SWAMP?'" I scream the last part for an extra dramatic affect, and the Top Shrek stands up, and grins.

I shake her hand for the last time before leaving "Thank you for interviewing me, Top Shrek."

"You are welcome, Jeff. You will get a letter from us in the mail in a few days regarding your position with The Shrekettes."

If I'm in the group, or not.

I leave the room, and let out a loud breath that I didn't realize I was holding in. I spot a girl with wavy brown hair about a foot shorter than Chandler- he has an arm slung around her across the back of the chair. Huge smiles are plastered across their faces. Chandler sees me, and grins.

"Jeff, meet my girlfriend- Ellie. Ellie meet my friend Jeff." He says

"Hello, Ellie." I shake her hand.

"I overheard the lady at the front desk saying that your interview was pretty swell." She says

"Ya... I guess... I don't think the Top Shrek likes me very much. She back handed me, straight off the bat." I explain

"Ah, she does that with nearly everyone who gets interviewed. Get her name wrong?" She asks

"Yes, how did you know?" I ask

"Rookie mistake. I got interviewed last year. I'm a one year member of The Shrekettes, as of yesterday." She grins

"Congrats." I say

The lady at the desk calls Chandler up, and Ellie grabs her purse to leave the office.

"Well, it was nice meeting you." She says with a smile "Hopefully the next time I see you, it will be at a Shrekette meeting."

"Bye, Ellie." I reply.

Well, she was nice, I guess. Chandler and her make a really cute couple.

I walk out of the office, but before I get to my parents car, I trip over my un-hemmed pants, and can't take my hands out of my pockets fast enough to break my fall. My body twists, and I feel a horrible pain at the back of my neck. My vision blurs, and I feel the back of my head. Blood. A lot of dark blood. It almost looks black. My mother screams from in the car, and jumps out, cradling my head on her lap. My vision gets spotted, and when I regain it, I hear loud sirens, and finally lose myself.

I open my eyes, and I'm in a room with spongy white cusions on the walls that surround me. I sit up on the bed, when the glorious, green, ogre lord, Shrek walks through a door to my right. He walks up to me, only a white towel around him. I feel my pants get tighter as I think of what he would look like with the towel off. I instinctively lay back on the bed, and he lays next to me.

"Roll over." He says, and I obide.

I feel his warm hairy hands on my neck, "I'm going to make you feel so shrektastic."

His hands travel further down my back, and I moan from the amount of tension leaving my body. I hear him spit on his hands, and he offers it to me to lick, so I do. I taste the delicious, swamp flavored, liquid, and warmth prickles my lower area. Licking his spit was so sensual. He begins to tug my jeans down, and I wait in anticipation.

"This will hurt, but you must do it for me."

"I will. Anything." I know it will hurt, but I will do it for Shrek.

I feel an amazing sensation, and groan low in my throat. He grabs my cheeks, and moans "Ugh. Wake up Jeff. Jeff, wake up darling."