Christmas to Spend Alone

10

The next few days were really weird. Like, I had a battle going on inside. Me, myself as myself was trying to fight the new me, myself as myself. My brain was torn between, my typical sullen and hostile self. And a slightly kinder and less "throw a knife at anything that moves"

I really just wanted to avoid everyone, and figure this out on my own. But NOOOO Bucky was trying to be his better self and try to help me. Of course he's still pretty sullen and hostile too, his nice guy act is melting.

Finally after about a week of this charade, we took a walk in Central Park. Today's New Years Eve. So all of New York is getting ready for the big night. After a long time we sat down of a bench. Both of us returned to wearing black and hating everything and everyone.

"At least we gave it a shot," I said looking out across the duck pond.

"Yeah,"

"I don't think we are meant to be perky people,"

"You're right. We're not,"

"I think 1940's Bucky Barnes was not meant to be part of 2015,"

"And I suppose, Rhianne (last name), wasn't either,"

"How did you know my real name?" I demanded.

"It was the name on your file,"

"I swear if you tell anyone, I'll rip out your spinal column,"

"I won't tell anyone,"

I don't know why, but I trusted those words. We were silent for a long time. Then he spoke again.

"We can hate the world, and be sullen together,"

I considered his words. Yeah. Yeah we could.

"I think we already do,"

"That's true," he said. Sliding his metal hand over mind and closing it around my fingers. I did not move away. If I'm going to be with someone, he might as well hate everything I do.