billie song imagines

listen before i go

a/n: this is billies pov which is also you.

"take me to the rooftop, i wanna see the world when i stop breathing, turning blue."

i'm standing on a tall building, looking down below me. i am soaked as it is raining, not heavy. i can see the red and white lights of car zooming past below me. i hold my phone out on voicemail as i sing

"tell me love is endless, don't be so pretentious, leave me like you do."

i feel numb, nothing has gone right in my life, i never truly wanted fame. i just wanted my friends. but they are gone. forever. and soon so will i.

"if you need me, wanna see me, you better hurry, 'cause i'm leaving soon"

i feel myself inching closer and closer to edge. i've thought about this moment for years and its finally going to happen..... i just want the pain to stop. people have hurt me and told me to leave... so thats what it going to happen.

"sorry can't save me now, sorry i don't know how, sorry there's no way out, but down, down"

i am trapped. tears are starting to stream down my face like they never have before. i wish the people who made me suffer, also suffer. no one needs me here. i'm useless in this society. its like they said, the world is better off without my music.

"taste me , the salty tears on my cheek, that's what a year long headache, does to you"

i only wanted good for the world, even if that means i'm not here. my head is throbbing at the thoughts rushing my head. my phone is getting extremely wet but its okay as i wont ever need to use it again.

"i'm not okay, i feel so scattered, don't say i'm all that matters"

i look down at my arm and all i see are cuts, i managed to hide them but one time i was performing on stage and i forgot to use makeup to cover them and everyone saw and there are pictures and stuff. that made people tell me to kill myself more and that i should've cut deeper. i tried to get help but its not enough compared to the hate.

"leave me, déjà vu"

i am so sick of people leaving me that i may as well leave myself. i already feel dead on the inside so why not make it real on the outside too and show the world what they did. not that they would care, but maybe, just maybe, there's that one person who does.

"if you need me, wanna see me, you better hurry, i'm leaving soon. sorry can't save me now, sorry i don't know how, sorry there's no way out, but down, hm down"

finneas was the only person who really knew what i felt, my mom and dad are older so they don't realise as much. i wish finneas was here, i don't want him to stop me, or to hurt him, i just want one last hug. he'll get over me.

"call my friends and tell them that i love them, and i'll miss them, but i'm not sorry"

that's if i have any left. it's true. i'm not sorry. it is what people want for for once i will give it to them. this isn't a bad choice, it was a bad choice not to do this years ago so i wouldn't be hurting now. i was stupid enough to believe that it gets better. it never did.

i press send on my voicemail and it goes out to everyone on my contacts and i also put it on all my social medias even though i am supposed to send what i wanna post to my team first. i don't need them anymore. i'm going to give it like 5 minutes to take my last breath and look around for the last time. i'm also trying to see if anyone stops me.

3 minutes have passed and i can hear familiar footsteps behind me. i turn to see finneas, tears run down his face, he must have cried a lot because his face is red. i hate seeing him like this. he steps closer but i signal him not to.

finneas: "bil, what are you doing" his voice cracks

billie: "i'm done" i turn back around but somethings telling me not to

finneas: "billie please, it gets better than this. you are all i have. i don't want to lose you."

billie: "you said that 2 years ago and it didn't"

finneas: "please step away from the edge and just give me a hug, please?" he opens his arm

i slowing back away from the edge and into his arms. i silently cry into his sholder and i can tell he doesn't want me to do this. but i have to.

finneas: "i love you."

billie: "i love you too, but i have to do this" i say, shaking .

finneas try's to hold me tighter so i can't jump but he didn't hold tight enough.

finneas: "BILLIE NO, you don't need to do this please" he says crying. but it's too late.

i'm gone.

i see the lights in all the rooms as i fall past them. i can hear finneas screaming. it hurts me to see him like this. but he'll be okay.

this is it. i can finally be at peace and the world can be happier again.

or will it. was this a bad decision?

i wish i listened to finneas

but he can't save me now.

i hear the horrifying screams of people on the ground as i get closer. they don't care, i know they don't. i shut my eyes tightly as i brace myself.

my life is over. i don't have to deal with shit anymore. let's hope i don't wake up in hospital.

how did you like this? i may have cried during this. but anyway suicide is NEVER the answer. if you feel down or like you want to, please dm me or leave a comment. i will not judge or anyone who does i'll remove their comment and block them. just remember the people who love you and how they would be affected.

i love you

*sorry for any spelling mistakes*

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