call me by my name | binjin

1. Fake Sneezes & Eye Contacts.

He was too fond of the calm to give into people's words. While the harsh words did take a toll on him every now and then and he found himself crying in his room, flat on his stomach under the soft bedding, the truth was he had gotten somewhat used to it- used to the fact that he was not going to fit into this group of social elites. Once he had accepted the idea of being different than the rest of his peers, he had gotten a little bit more comfortable in his own skin.

Silence was his comfort zone; he wound mind sitting in a secluded room for weeks with a good book at his disposal and a cup of chamomile tea.

But like every story, there was a flip side to the usual calm and quiet in his life.

There was one sound he'd exchange his good years for just so he could listen to it for the rest of his life.

Almost on cue, the sound of girlish laughter invaded his ears from behind. Soft giggles made their way to his ears and it felt like music to his ears. He didn't care if someone saw him closing his eyes and smiling mid lecture, all he did care about was that sound, the soft sound that he had been following around like a stray puppy.

He could feel her getting closer and closer to him, the sound was nearing him fast. Too afraid to catch her eye if he turns around, Bin busied himself with knotting and unknotting his fingers under the desk; a habit he had picked up whenever she was in close proximity to him.

Just like she was now.

Not daring to look back and waiting for her to come forward on her own, Bin bit his lip in anticipation.

A thousand questions ran in his mind.

What was she wearing today?

Was she wearing her infamous eye smile too?

Did she see me?

The last question was the most absurd of all. As if she'd look at someone such as him- someone who paid a lot of attention in becoming practically invisible.

Instinctively, he reached for his most prized possession- the secret blue notebook he kept on him at all times.

Looks like I have to miss a few starter notes to write something else, Bin sighed, almost dreamily.

Laughter was stopped, eyes were met and he was already a goner.

She could've been very well looking at someone behind him but he wanted to think that the smile she was wearing right now was for him. She raised a hand to wave. Bin knew she wasn't looking at him rather someone behind him but that didn't mean he couldn't at least think it was for him, right?

While she smiled and waved enthusiastically, he smiled again, this time into his sleeve with the excuse of a sneeze. When he sneezed rather unconvincingly, Yejin spared him a glance, a perfect eyebrow raised in confusion.

His heart was going to burst out of his chest right now, this was it, this is how he was going to die. Truth be told, he'd accept it over any given fate.

Son Yejin.

Not only the most beautiful but also the most popular girl at Seoul National University had him wrapped around her finger and she wasn't even aware of it. While she was involved in many extracurricular activities at the institute unlike Bin who could have a heart attack just by thinking about it, Yejin was, albeit, he'd admit, a little too far behind him in studies. She was flunk from almost every subject she had ever attended a class for and was also, rude, arrogant and spoiled given her antics in the cafeteria from time to time on fellow peers as well as junior students- given her father was a high time investor in the institute they studied in as well, Bin realized why she was like this
This wasn't what Bin thought, however, it was what was written, quite literally, on the schoolʼs unofficial website run, by his one and sole friend, Minho, a fellow introvert such as him which had been the only reason they had gotten along in the first place.

Bin had told him so many times to take it off the website but he had just dramatically sighed before saying, "It is what it is."

Apparently, Minho took this site very seriously and went to great lengths to gather accurate data, as he would put it.

Good thing was that he updated it anonymously otherwise Yejin would have had his head on a stick by now.

Finally, Bin had given up. No matter what Minho or any stupid site said, he still loved Yejin more than anything else in the world and nothing was going to change that.

The last thing he remembered was his Yejin giving him an awkward look and plopping into the seat right in front of him with all her friends on either side of her. It was like she was the glue that held them together, the one who got all the attention and the one who made their opinion loud and clear; the only one that mattered.

This had been their first encounter in three years. She had actually looked at him even though she had given him the most disgusting of looks for faking a sneeze, he couldn't help but let his heart flutter. The butterflies in the stomach phrase he had heard about from Minho- he was experiencing it first hand.

So it was true! I feel so...giddy.

Just as class started, Bin pushed aside the books his desk housed and pulled out his all too familiar blue notebook. Since no one was sitting so far back, he had the complete desk to himself, all the rows at his disposal just like he always did. Not only was this a good spot to escape social encounters but also, focus on what the professor was actually teaching (unlike he was doing now) that is why he had chosen this place.

It has been just a bonus that Yejin had decided to sit right in front of him.

As the class made notes about whatever new topic the professor was telling about, Bin had other intentions. He knew he should pay attention like the model student he was, or rather as the teachersʼ pet as many would put it but everything else had to wait until he vented out to the poor notebook.

Grabbing the pen nearest to him, he began writing, his hands still shaking at the thought of locking eyes with Yejin mere minutes ago.

She looked at me today. It was the first time she did in three years. I feel like I should scream at the top of my lungs or even tell Minho, I can not decide which. If I tell him, he will never believe me and call me lovesick again. If I scream, my anxiety levels will skyrocket and I will die before even screaming. The mere thinking is enough to give me a cardiac arrest.

That is why.

I am telling you, dear journal.

Because I have no one to tell this to and because I love Son Yejin so much that I wish she will notice me one day, too, again.

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When I say I am excited to share this project with you...girls, I mean it. I am so being excited, I can't even tell. I will focus more on WWGFH as it's already at a critical stage where the story progresses, I wanted to give this excerpt to you all so you could feast your eyes upon this and let me know if it's a yay or nay. I would love to hear what you all have to say as this is a generally newer idea than my other fic. Vote, comment and share!

Love you all, xx