I've never really believed in a lot of things, but I always believed in love. I grew up and 'love' never seemed to come my way.
I forced the romance, I started a fire and pretended it was a spark. But you?
AW.
I don't give nicknames our very often. I forced one on LB and that failed. But it's alright. I regret my mistakes with him and I hope he's doing alright.
I'm listening to your song - your songs always illicit this reaction from me. I'm only listening because you wanted more plays on it.
V really broke your heart, huh? I'm sorry about that. I wish I coulda stopped that.
I miss you. I miss going on discord and feeling special because you didn't let anybody else call you those nicknames. You put up with me and I loved it. I'd panic and you'd care, you came to me for help. Even when you barely knew me you trusted me. I trust you.
The whole damn thing fell apart but I trust you.
My worlds falling apart over here. I don't like watching myself cry but I'm doing a lot of that.
I'm not relapsing I don't think. Just hurting a bit. When the discord fell apart I cut. The scars healed but I know I did it.
I want you to come back and make me laugh like you always did. Even when I got bored and annoyed you never gave up on me.
I've never been one to believe in things. Belief will just snap my heart in two and I'm not sure if my heart can withstand that again.
But Goddamnit I believe in you. Despite everything within me telling me to stop I believe in you.
I believe in you. I hope you stay safe and healthy. Please tell me you've been eating and sleeping. Talk to me about your drawings. Vent to me about whatever is making you upset. Just come back to me. I want to see you. I want to hug you like we promised. We're supposed to buy ice cream when I come to visit you. To be honest I don't even like ice cream very much but I'll eat it if it makes you smile.
I want to hear you laugh and see you smile. I want things to back to how they used to be. God you're driving me crazy here.
I'm desperate here. Eat something, drink water and get some sleep. See yourself the way I see you. You're amazing funny and so cool. You have so much to do.
Just stay alive. You promised me you would and I believe you. I believe you.
