INSECURITY

BLACK

My name is Nini. I'm a black girl in a black community. I mean that literally. Its funny, when my friends, talk about the #black live s matter, that is the discrimination of black just because of their skin color that goes on outside the country, well I'm a Nigerian who lives in Nigeria, but I'm still black even in a sea of black. Here the disparity is based on how deep your dark skin tone is and here goes the pyramid.

At the top, we have the 'fair godess or oyinbo pepper'  people who fall into this category are either half-caste, which by the way isn't derogatory where I come from, it actually is honorific, or people who by some marvelous gene are just that way, mind you they aren't melanin Lacker, they are just extremely light in complexion.

At the middle, we have the 'brown skin zone', these are people who fall in between, their skin tone is brown, and well that's all I think.

At the bottom of the pyramid, are the 'melanin popping', these are people who are extremely dark, and most people, born this way, tend not to stay this way, in between their teen years they tend to move upward to either the 'brown skin zone' or 'fair godess' through certain dubious means. I unfortunately fall into this category.

Well its unfortunate, because its at the bottom of the pyramid, everyone keeps advising you to bathe regularly, avoid the sun ray, use a good cream; what they actually mean is use a whitening cream, it isn't called bleaching anymore. Its unfortunate because, if you're black, you're not beautiful. But who cares, what they think.

Surprisingly, its the opposite for guys. As a guy being black is considered awesome, the trend is 'TDH (Tall, Dark, and Handsome)'.

OK, so I'm not just black, I'm also a dreamer; I love imagining and creating a whole new world in my head, I'm that quiet girl who sits in a park, watching people and trying to figure out their life stories.

I've had a billion and one creative ideas, but they never become realities, this is how it goes; I'm sitting on the sofa, reading a book, and boom! I get an idea on how to deal with, or create awareness of a societal problem, I get all excited and dive straight into this project. Day two, this mini project of mine, either become tedious, boring or I realize I don't have enough resources to carry out these project. Day three, I give up.

I think that's the chronicle of my life. I believe its a disease though, something that starts with 'hyper', would suit my hyperactive, unproductive mind.

My aunt thinks otherwise, she believes, I'm an incredibly smart girl with a productive mind, and to make me realize that, she wants me to help her work on a
Project about bleaching.

Gosh!, is this how antisocial, I am, its Saturday, and I'm here writing in a journal, rather than being with friends.

I decided  to go downstairs to get lunch, I was on the twelfth step, when I stopped, yeah I count my steps, so what? You've got your own weird habits.

"Can you believe this, I was at Eko market the other day, when a lady bumped into me, my goods fell down, I saw black hands pick up my goods, and looked up to see a fair face, telling me sorry,
I told her thank you and left, sister mi, you should have seen this girl, she's the perfect blend of coke and fanta, I wish I could take her pictures, her hands were black, face fair, neck black, shoulder fair with greenish veins, that one is definitely the aftermath of bleaching cream, what I don't understand, is why a person, would spend so much money to buy what would give them problem, all in the name of being fair, rather than maintain the 'God given beautiful dark skin', I see people protest about banning of things considered harmful, I don't know why they exempt bleaching creams,this creams should be considered illegal"

Hmm! That's my aunt claire, a lawyer and a human right activist, she just gave her usual epistle, in fact I better go back to my room, before she involves me in this her 'say no to bleaching' saga.

'Nini, is that you? Come say hi to your favourite aunt' my mum called out.

Oops! Guess I was caught.

I put on a smiling face, counted the remaining twenty five steps to where my aunt was sitting on the sofa, I don't  understand why my mum says favourite aunt, For Pete sake, she's my only aunt, there's no one to compare her to, so how then can I have a favourite.

"Good afternoon aunt Claire" I greeted with an open smile

"Good afternoon to you, dear, how're you?"

"I'm great ma"

"I was just telling your mum my experience with a bleaching woman"

Hmm! Woman is just fine, why attach bleaching to her name. "Oh! aunt that's sad"

"So you see we, have to enlighten these young women of the dangers of bleaching, I don't still understand, why they do it"

I could spend days answering her  why's, and it still won't be enough. First, could be that everyone in this part of the world, fuss and fawn over light skin girls, and consider them more beautiful. Second, would be your ex jilted you (a dark skinned girl) for a light skin girl. Third, might be, when your own brother openly declares, that he's gonna marry, the fair one, out of his numerous girlfriends, that's if he ever settles for one. Fourth should be, when all your light skinned friends get more passes from guys than you do, and all you just wanna do is scream, 'This is colorism'.

Okay, I'm not supporting bleaching or anything like that, just that colorism is the reason why they do this.

"Nini!" My mum called out. "I don't understand why this girl is always lost in thought"

"She's a dreamer, sister mi" aunt Claire imputed, while taking a sip from her glass of water.

"Hmm! May I be excused, I've got assignment, wanted to grab lunch".

" oh! OK, but you and I still have that project to work on, how far have you gone with your research, you know what, you go ahead, we'd talk about it later"

"OK ma"

Fact is, I wouldn't be caught dead, helping my aunt on an 'anti bleaching programme', except that this particular help, I'd be rendering my aunt comes with great reward, and she obviously need me, on this project, cause I'm black and she's fair, which makes her at a disadvantage for disseminating the 'anti bleaching' message'

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So I added a bit of the Yoruba culture into this. Yoruba is an ethnic group in Nigeria.

So what do you guys think about this chapter, do comment and help me grow as a writer.

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