Tales of Mohua

Prologue: Ballad of the Heart

There was once a man who loved a woman more than himself.

She was the sun of his world, the light in his eyes, and the warmth radiating through his heart. No one else was more important than her. For her, he could do anything.

And he did. He wagered his life to prove he was worthy of standing beside her.

At age twenty, he entered the military. The next three years of his youth were spent in the hell of wars. From a farmer's son with no wealth, strong background, or prior training, he created an name for himself.

Ouyang Jun became one of the six commanders of Shou.

For her, his persistence and determination burned like a roaring fire. All the blood, sweat, and tears he shed were the fuel to keep him going.

Nothing could be compared to her, who awaited his return.

On the day of his victorious return, he raced through the capital in a hurry. The emperor offered generous rewards for his accomplishments, but none of it mattered. The first person he looked for was his beloved.

Over the hill, under the jasmine tree where their special place was, he stood waiting. His heartbeat drummed against his chest as her footsteps came closer with each second. 

He wondered, he imagined, and he dreamed of this moment the very day he left three years ago. To think this day was finally coming true, it felt more surreal than his own imagination.

Her hand rested on his shoulder when she reached him. He whispered her name longingly at their first touch, "Yu'er."

Only he knew the thousands of times he called out her name. The thousands of times he cried out her name. Not a day passed by without thinking of her.

Before, he called out her name to himself. Today, she was finally here to hear it.

His strong arms craved to wrap around her waist, trapping her in his embrace and sharing the same warmth. Oh, how he wished to hold onto her and never let go.

"Jun," her voice spoke his name softly. 

His smile, along with her name forming on his lips froze the very next second. 

"Your eyes... are the rumors true?"

Ouyang Jun's outstretched arms turned frigid as he turned the other way, deeply ashamed of what's happened. All those years he yearned to see her again, all those times he wished for this very moment, yet it was hard for him to face her in his current condition.

With his silent confirmation, she seemed to have taken a couple steps back, her fragrance fading from his side--a fragrance he was unfamiliar with. She no longer smelled of jasmine flowers.

He used all his courage to turn in her direction, his hands shaking with how much he desired to touch her and hear that he was still the one she'd been waiting for. That she still loved him despite his eyes.

"Don't."

Ouyang Jun's hands dropped limply onto his sides. He pleaded for her permission, "Yu'er, please..."

"I'd rather not."

"I held myself back a thousand times. Each morning when I opened my eyes and each night before I closed my eyes, you were the first and last thought on my mind," his words came rushing as he tried to get all his feelings out. Perhaps when she learned of how much he missed her, she'd understand. 

He wanted to shower her with his brimming love. He wished for her to welcome him in joy. "I told myself, I had to keep living no matter how hard it was because you were waiting for me. Yu'er, don't back away from me."

She took a deep breath before revealing, "Jun... I'm now a married woman."

Ouyang Jun's heart fell into the deep sea, the merciless angry waves squeezed his heart until it bled and the water turned into a crimson red.

His beloved Yu'er... she was married? How could such a thing be?

Her words stabbed his heart like none other. His ears must be lying, he refused to hear it... If he could, he would choose to close off his ears. 

Unable to accept it, he reached out and held her arms, desperate to hear her say it was a joke. "Song Qiuyue, don't play with me. It's cruel..."

"Ouyang Jun, stop lying to yourself," she coldly brushed his fingers off. "Did you really think I, the beloved daughter of the prime minister, would wait for you all these years?"

His world came crashing down. 

"Look at yourself, even if I am unwed, how can you be an equal match to me? In the past, I overlooked your background because I was blinded by love, but love is not enough to survive. In this dog eat dog world, I can't reach my ambitions with you by my side. In your absence, I've learned, my heart has long changed, only you remain a fool."

This wasn't how things were supposed to go. Nothing was as the loving reunion that warmed his daydreams. He stood there frozen in shock, unable to process what she just said. Her sharp words, dripping with disgust was a slap to his face. 

He was a fool for holding onto their love? He, who bet everything in his life for their love, was simply a fool to her?

The day of their supposed reunion turned into an overdue breakup. She didn't waste another second. It seemed her reason for coming was to confirm the rumor going around. He, alone, was here for her.

Although it was only his sight that was gone, his voice also seemed to have gotten lost. He couldn't retort back, couldn't say a word.

Hell, he couldn't even call out her name.

Even if he shouted, he knew she wouldn't come back. 

He whispered her name in silence. 

Song Qiuyue.

He wanted to chase after her, to lock her into his embrace so she couldn't escape. He wanted her to be his, just as it was before. In the end, he never got to hold her in his embrace, never got to even hold her hand. 

Ouyang Jun fell onto his knees, drowning in the depths of his sorrow and tears. The pain he overcame in that pit of hell hit his body all at once, like a thousand arrows shot with murderous intent out to take his life. His body slumped onto the hard and cold ground. 

The sun rose to its highest point in the sky, hid back behind the horizon, and the moon awoke--yet, he laid there motionlessly. 

Earlier, he felt a strong surge of hatred for himself for not being able to see her even one last time. He hated himself so much such that all his pain and accomplishments vanished. Now, he just realized it may not be too bad. At least he wouldn't see her love someone else. 

Every year, when the last day of spring ended and the first day of summer began, he would think of her again. Under the jasmine tree with a bottle of wine, he mourned their lost love.

The yearning in his heart during three years of separation was for him to remember alone. The suffering he went through, she would never know.

The words of love he desperately wanted to whisper, she would never know.

The way he longed for her, the way he deeply loved her, the way he sacrificed his all for her, she would know none of it.

Each and every vow he made was only for him to know and remember. He would alone shoulder the remains of the love they once shared.

The ballad of his broken heart was to be untold until the end of time.