Samara

The Beginning

              Hi, I'm Samara.  I am 18 years old but from the beginning I always knew my life would be weird. Should I tell you about it? Come on lets go! Let me take you there.  Its January 18th, 2002 the power goes out. 14 year old Mira is in labor. Shes alone. Scared, she picks up her cell phone and calls an ambulance. Several hours later Angelica Mattice was born. Right after birth she was signed over to a new family. Her mom didn't want her. At four years old they changed her name. She is me. I am her. 

               All I have of my mother is this letter. Let me read it to you.

                                                            "My dear Angelica,

I never meant to get rid of you. I never wanted to leave you, but you see, things do not always happen the way you want them to. I'm afraid I was unable to give you the proper care you deserve. Don't worry sweetie, the Litwe's will take good care of you.  

                                                              XOXO Mira "

So yeah. I believe she would have taken way better care of me, even at the age of 14. My dads, Phil and Dave Litwe, work for an organization called B-zone. They told me not to ask questions so I don't. The posters are all over my room though. Oh. Did I mention..? We live in a four story house with six bedrooms, and I've never seen them. I know, I know what you might be thinking. "Samara you have lived there for 18 years and have never seen the rooms? What do you do all day?" Well, my room is the basement. I am not allowed to leave it. My bedroom is in the corner next to the washer and dryer. I sleep on a pile of old blankets and its been this way since they brought me home from the hospital. I do not leave this space. Last time I did, well, you know, or I mean.. you will. 

     When I came home with the Litwes I was so small. They told me I was born at Lex Hospital. I wish they would have kept my name. But they didn't. They  always said its because my mother was a bad woman and they didn't want her to find me. How bad could a 14 year old girl be? Does she know where I am? Do I look like her? Oh. Yeah. Back to my story. When I was four they finally let me have real food instead of whatever I found down here. My favorite was applesauce. When i was six people started coming over from their work. I used to love looking through the crack in the door at peoples shoes and imagining what they looked like. On my seventh birthday a new girl came to stay with me. 

  Her name was Rylynn. Rylynn was two years younger than me and had long blonde hair with blue eyes. She was super skinny too. They let her go upstairs sometimes. When she came back down she was always crying and wouldn't tell me what was wrong. She was so scared and said she wanted to go home. One day, when they came to get Rylynn, I followed them up. I was careful not to be seen. I followed Phil and Rylynn all the way to the second story.  Someone was talking in one of the rooms. It wasn't Phil, he was still walking with Rylynn. It didn't sound anything like Dave either. Dave had a high pitched almost unnatural voice. This voice was really deep and had an accent. I wondered who it could be.

  I peak into the room and see this man. I don't recognize his shoes. What was he doing here? Who was he?  SHIT! He noticed me. And where did Rylynn and Phil go? His shirt said... "B-zone". Huh that's weird. Now I really needed to know what B-zone was. But first. I had to get out of there. As I'm running through the halls and up the stairs with this big ass dude right up behind me I hear Rylynn screaming. I froze up. The guy grabbed me. Lifted me on his shoulder and said "Mind your business you little fucking brat."  As hes carrying through the halls I notice there's people in every room. But were they all from B-zone.  *WHACK* my head hit the wall and I blacked out.

  I woke up the next morning back in the basement. Rylynn wasn't there this time. I went back upstairs. Trying to be more careful. I found Rylynn sitting in a room unconscious. She had bruises up and down her legs. Why was this happening to her? My best friend needed to get out of there. I quietly made my way back to the basement. When Rylynn got brought back down later that day we started to plan our escape. We talked about kid escapes. Such as, prince's, space ships, dragons, and fairy godmothers. Ya know. That kinda thing.  We were young. We thought it would work.  

   One day about a year later Phil came down and got me instead of Rylynn. We went to the fourth floor and into this room where there was this man waiting. Phil sat me down and locked the door behind him. This man was knew too. He didn't have the company shirt on. Instead he wore a red flannel button up and jeans. After what felt like forever he spoke. He had a low raspy smokers voice. "I requested you." Requested me? What does that even mean? "What would a grown man want with an eight year old?" I asked. His response and the rest of that night will haunt me forever.

  "We, the workers of B-zone, do not care how old you are. We are given options. You or Rylynn. I'm assuming this is your first time. Rylynns younger and blonde so everyone probably picks her huh." He says as he unbuttons his shirt. "Don't worry baby girl i'll be easy." What was he talking about? Why was he taking his shirt off? Was he too hot? Were there others? 

  He pauses and looks at me. He says, "My shirts off, now yours" WHAT THE FUCK?! TAKE MY SHIRT OFF?! OH MY GOD POOR RYLYNN! I didn't move. I couldn't. I was so scared.  He hit me then tore my shirt off my tiny little body. Now crying and screaming I tried running to the door. Grabbing my hair he yanks me back and throws me face first onto the bed. Now I know why Rylynn was so scared all the time. As i'm laying pinned with my face buried in the blanket I hear him take off his belt. "OW OW OW" I yell as he continues to hit me with it. Finally the hitting stops.

      "Now it's time for the real deal" says the man as he strips me of my pants and undergarments. Still pinned to the bed I try to wiggle loose. Why is this happening  to me? What was happening to me? He slides his hand across my now bare body. "Fuck this is going to be so much fun," He mumbled, "this is probably gonna hurt you though doll." I feel something going somewhere I know nothing should go. "It hurts so bad. It feels like i'm going to die." I thought to myself. Its all the way in me now. I'm screaming louder. I'm bleeding. A lot. He doesn't care. Nor does he stop. In fact, just the opposite. Harder and harder he goes. Why would anyone do this to a little kid? Eventually something oozes inside of me and hes done. Picking up his pants he says "I've always had a thing for skinny brunettes, later" lets me up and walks out. I drop to the floor. Blood everywhere. Crying. I inspect the marks he left on me. Right thigh; bruise, hand print, welt. Left thigh; bruise, hand print, welt. Same for both arms. Neck too. Chest; bruise, hand print, welt, bite mark. I count the marks as I slowly loose consciousness. 

   What seemed  like hours later i'm assuming I woke up back in the basement. Rylynn, who was currently sitting next to me,  hands me a stuffed bear "hims is mine from momma, shes gonna find me some day ya know, but you tan tuddle him if you'd like." Shes so sweet. But what did she mean her mom was gonna find her? Wasn't she adopted? The next day when I was a bit more aware of what was happening around me, I asked her about it. She told me that Dave and Phil took her from the daycare at the mall claiming to be her uncles. Was I kidnapped too? I had to know. 

   The next morning, when Dave and Phil left, Rylynn and I made our way upstairs. We searched every room to figure out what B-zone really was. Knowing we didn't have long, we searched the first floor first. This continued every Thursday when the Litwes left. 

   On the last day we came across a room marked "CONFIDENTIAL" and we went in. One wall read "SAMANTHA" and another read "ANGELICA". I knew I was Angelica so Samantha must have been Rylynn.  The walls contained pictures, lists, and times. Turns out, I was kidnapped from a shopping cart in Kentucky and smuggled all the way to Brazil where Phil and Dave then traded their car for me. Then  I as brought back here to California. Weird right? Rylynns story about being kidnapped turned out to be  true. Now we really had to know what B-zone was.  We ran back to the basement and started talking about life once we find our parents. 

  We were taken back and forth to different rooms with different guys where the same thing happened. Is this all B-zone is? Rylynn always got the worst of it. As the older one I knew it was up to me to do most of the work on getting us out of there.  One day things with Rylynn were so bad it literally broke her arm. A couple weeks ago I was unconscious for a couple days. Turns out several people have still done things to me just in the basement. I woke up in a pool of my own blood.

  This had to stop. Dave and Phil couldn't let this go on forever could they?