You put in the wrong number, Peter...

Burnt Chicken Nuggets

Sooo How goes it, Mr. Wonder.

Mr. Wonder?

It's not like I know who you are.

You can call me James.

Alright, you know, that name sounds familiar.

It's pretty common.

Have you ever seen vine?

What's vine?

How dare you? Have you lived under a rock you're whole life?

...Not a rock. I wasn't one for working electronics. I don't like myself for the things I've done.

I look like a burnt Chicken Nugget but I still love myself.

A burnt chicken nugget?

Yeah, burnt chicken nuggets. I only have 69 cents, I don't have enough money for chicken nuggets... :(

Boy, are you okay?

It isss what it isss.

I could sense the persons confusion from my side of the screen. This was really fun, I liked messing with this guy. Kids these days will never know the fun that was Vine. Man, dam tic tok killed vine. I could have made spider man vines if I could. the closest thing that was there was it's Wednesday, my dude

I really wish Vine were alive though. This guy must really be old if he doesn't know vine. I wonder if the avengers know what vine is. 

Look I'll message you later, I've gotta go.

Hmmm, alright then.

"Karen give me the rundown on nearby crimes."

"There's a bank robbery in progress a couple of blocks from here."

"Thank you."

"You're welcome, Peter."

I crawled out my window and made my way up the fire escape to the roof. "Karen give me the GPS?"

"Of course Peter."

I saw the direction where I needed to go, I swung through the buildings with Karen playing Taylor Swift, I sort of had headphones installed in this suit. Let's just say Tony Starks Iron Man doesn't know I hacked into his AI and finessed his Spider Suit plans. 

"Woah, you need a belt buddy," I smirked as one bank robber was with his butt crack showing, it was not a sight to see. I shot a web at his pants and pulled them up. "That's better."

The robbers turned around and dropped their bags, pulling out a gun. It seemed to be one of those ones my ex's father sold. You know the one who dropped a building on me, fun times right? 

Thankfully I learned how to disable those things. "Karen, activate the Alien EMP."

"activating we either kill or get killed." 

"Whatcha gonna do?" I repeated vibing. I did that stupid dance and shot my webs at their guns, slinging them to the ceiling. Leaving them helpless.

"Run," one of them yelled.

"He sounds like a kid, you can take him."

"A kid who scales damn buildings. " the other reasoned.

"Fine run!"

"I'm not running, either way, we get caught." this guy sat down and held his hands out. I webbed them up. "Rather spend a couple of years for robbing a bank than over a century or assault of a fucking avenger. no way Jose."

"Fucking Pu-"

"Hey! Don't say that-" I webbed his mouth, his eyes went wide. "-that's demeaning to them. Just cause he doesn't want to do what you tell him to does not make him a female jaybird."

"That's nice man," the other guy said, he looked down at his lap as if contemplating his life. 

"You see people like that are why men are so quiet. I mean not that I really know, I do what I want."

Once the sirens arrived I stuck the other man to the wall and the one who was actually not that bad. Turns out he was being blackmailed into doing this so, he's not too much of a bad person. What he did to be blackmailed? I have no clue.

When I left I just walked through the streets with my suit on. People couldn't really see me since the streets were so dimly lit. I got a phone call from fury on my way home. I sighed and ignored it, my pocket vibrated again.

I answered the call with, "Hi, Welcome to Chilies."

"Spidey-  wait is this really chilies?"

"Would you like some red chili peppers?" I played along.

"No I don't want some god damned Peppers. Where's Spider Man?"

"I'm sorry this is Adam."

"Adam." he repeated, making me stifile laugh, "Damn it, mother of fu-"

I ended the call before I burst into laughter. 

I can't give myself away so early in the game.

Fury called again: "Road Kill Cafe, you kill'em we grill'em, what can I get started for you today?"

He immediately hung up the phone at my reply. I laughed and made my way home, I was not about to find more work to do on a school night. 

I climbed in through my window and made my way right into the shower.

Although right now I seem bubbly and joking, continue reading and listen to the horrors that unfolded after the Incident.

While the Avengers know Spider-Man, they don't know Peter Parker. The way I know Happy is because Happy is dating my aunt. He knows me as peter, not spiderman. The thing is, I don't actually live with my aunt, in fact, I live with a distant relative in upper Queens. 

Aunt Mays's job hasn't been very sustaining for the two of us, especially because she also had to pay for me to go to Europe. While she tried her hardest, in the end, she could only afford a studio apartment which was a lot, to begin with. 

I won't complain because I love her but I would have much rather preferred to just sleep under the stairs of my school. I kinda already made the small room under the stairs, SpiderMan's den. I know that sounds weird but it's mostly just pillows, blankets, snacks, Christmas lights, and a few spidy things to fix up during school.

To say I hate living with my distant family is an understatement. There are many times they won't feed me or even bother to look at me. I'm sure they see me as a freeloader but I mostly just sleep and bathe here. Ned seems to have caught on to the lack of food I've had and brought me some of his mom's lunches. 

One thing I completely disdain from being spidey is the frequent avenger checkups. I'll be minding my business and suddenly BOOM, Iron Man, Black Widow, Captain America, and like three others are there trying to get me to give a report or something.

Usually, I evade them or just leave things short and sweet. I'm expecting one to come up soon, these meetings usually fall into the second to last week of the month.

I guess we'll have to see how it goes.