Those Lovely Children Of Lys

Chapter Seventeen ~Goodbyes~

I stopped cold. This time, my vision wasn't going blurry; in fact, the colors around me seemed to get more vibrant. Their sounds grew louder. And I didn't feel fear. All I felt was exhaustion. 

Julian was dead. Mom was dead. Josh was dead. Let me die too. At least the rest are safe. Unimaginable tiredness rolled over me. "Oh kill me quick, will ya?" I shouted at the empty, burning space like a madman.

I didn't wait for an answer; my knees buckled. And of course, as the fire made its way towards me, the smoke-filled my vision with tears and haze. And finally, few vague figures floated towards me. I don't know what I'd expected; memories like Alice or ghosts or white figures with wild dark hair. 

It was nothing of that sort; it looked like small, buried children with these faces either burned off, or slashed gruesomely, or covered in some way. They looked like victims, not killers. "Aw, come here," I murmured at them. Perhaps I'd lost my mind.

They glided towards me obediently. One guy, with pale hands, extended his palm towards me-- and in it was mom's blue hairpin. "Take it," he said. I took it, and as soon as I did, all of the children glided towards me. Let's die together, I remember thinking.

I closed my eyes, blue hairpin in my hand, the flames cradling me in their warm grasp. 

~

"How many tickets?"

"Twenty, officer. Does that sound hard?"

"And the unconscious girl?"

"We're dropping her off at the nearest graveyard...what do you think? We're buying a ticket for her too!"

"I'm pulling strings for this, ma'am. I would have needed documentation..."

"They're burned down."

"Ah yes, you mentioned so before; please take your seats."

I heard a lot of scuffling and felt hauled to a seat. I tried to open my eyes, but my eyelids were not co-operating. I felt people sitting next to me. I lied motionless for a few more minutes, and then I felt train wheels move below me. Slowly, I felt rocked by the moving wheels of the train (train?) and fell asleep once again.

I woke up when I felt something cold trickle down my face. My eyelids fluttered open; Enoch was wiping my face with a wet cloth. "Hey there," he said delicately. "Hi," I said. I heard gasps. 

"Leta!" "Leta!" I weakly got up, feeling two hands supporting my back, and Enoch holding my arms. "How did I reach here?" I asked, slowly looking around. I saw tiny tots who I'd seen in the tutor's class staring at me; Darby, Rosemary, Blythe, Jenna, and Beretta.

We were on a train. And going somewhere. And I was alive. That was all that I could register. 

"Oh, dear," I recognized Miss Wiltshire's voice and turned back. She enveloped me in a delicate but warm hug. "You need to rest," she said, "There will be much time to explain all later."  I nodded; but before I faded away, I wanted to ask her the last thing, "Where are we going?"

She smiled sadly at me. "Wherever life takes us," she said, and when I stared outside the window, I saw rapidly whizzing green-black fields. "London," I said with a smile, and finally a smile lit up my face. 

I shakily got up; despite their vehement protests that I was too weak. I went to the place with the sinks and the loo; and the open doors where you could sit with half of yourself dangling with the wind. 

Holding the railing steadily, I ducked my head outside. Yes, in the air I could smell London. Its hope. Its inevitability. Its Constance. Its scent of my mother. And so there, half feeling like everything floaty and everything solid; I rose my head and looked at the few stars still visible.

And there, finally, there, I did something I had not; I said goodbye to the only person I hadn't said goodbye to; "Goodbye, mom. You're always here. And I will always love you." I felt in my pocket; I don't know why, and it found a blue hairpin. 

Taking a deep breath, I bought it to my lips; kissed it, and then cast it away. I didn't want to start a new life with a token of the dead.