windows

one

june 10th, 2016

she's my neighbour, she's also the most popular girl in school. her and her brother make music. they're getting really popular now

billies a good person, really, she is. but the thing about billie is, she has a reputation to uphold, she can't be seen talking to the outcasts or "losers" and unfortunately i tend to fall into that category.

the only times we can talk is when her friends aren't around, when we're both home. our bedroom windows are facing each other's so we talk and wrote notes and hold them up to the window. it's a pretty shitty situation but i get it, being seen with someone like me would ruin him, it sucks that he cares what people think but whatever you need to do to get through high school, right?

i'm barely getting by. today was particularly bad. actually no, today was the worst day i've ever had.

she never used to be like this, you know. she used to be someone that talked to everyone, not just the populars. people change i guess.

me, on the other hand, i'm the same person i've always been, the person who sits quietly in the background going unnoticed, wishing she had the guts to speak up, the girl that's nice to everyone even if it's not reciprocated. i've been told i'm too polite but i say there's no such thing.

"come on Rory, just ask her out already, she's not gonna wait around forever"

"funny, i could say the same about you and your little situation"

"james and i are barely friends. besides, that's different and you know it. you guys both talk everyday after school"

"well it's kinda weird if we don't. our desks are facing each other"

"you know what i mean"

"yes, nothing could ever come of it if i told anyway"

"alright fine, i gotta go, all i'm saying is you've been in love with this girl for two years"

"bye, loser"

"freak"

that was my best friend elina crosse, shes the complete opposite to me, shes the craziest person i know, she teepeed the principals house last year because he suspended her which resulted in another suspension.

as soon as she leaves i instantly burst into tears clutching my stomach. these bruises aren't gonna go away any time soon.

i walk over to my chipped wooden homework desk and sit down on my old wonky chair facing billies room and start to write my essay. i hear a tapping noise and look up to her throwing paper clips at my window. i reach to my window and struggle to push it up open.

"yes?"

"are you crying?"

"no"

"rory, come on"

"just leave it"

"fine, how was school?"

"you know exactly how it was, i give you the same answer everyday"

"yes, 'it'd be easier to do school in a prison' you're a real weirdo"

"you too"

"but really, how bad was it today?"

"this is the worst it's ever been. jessica and nd her pack of bitches pushed me into the lockers and kicked me in the ribs and stomach a bunch of times" whenever something happens billie makes me show her the damage, i'm not really sure why, there's nothing she can do anyway.

i lift up my shirt exposing my bruised stomach for her to see, no matter how many different times this happens she's always shocked and upset, i can tell she feels helpless.

"god i wish i could help"

"don't worry about it"

"ror-"

"billie please just leave it"

"alright. what are doing on the weekend?"

"i'll probably just do homework and watch tv, you got any plans?"

"a new song, i might post it somewhere"