Okay, grey shirt, jeans, check, backpack check, pens, check, waterbottle check, books, hand sanitizer, check, keys check..... Anxiety pills.......umm.... anxiety pills....... where are they
The tall boy digged through his backpack searching for the pill box, which was usually full.
Damn it, I ran out of them yesterday.
He folded his hands and placed them onto his forehead, closing his eyes tightly and sighing loudly.
My day is completely busted....
And again it came over him, like a wave brushing ashore, he couldn't go through the day if he didn't do his routine properly, he would tick out, at least when he arrived in university. At least whem he walked into the buliding seeing all their faces look at him, ir it was at least how he felt. They all watched him, their looks digging through His sking, attacking him.
He shook his head several times, and surpressed the weeping sound that rung through his head. The weeping sound, that
No, I could go to the pharmacy to get them before classes start. Yeah, thats a deal.
He said to himself.
He continued his routine by brewing some black coffee, he set it aside and put ice cubes into it.
Then he put on his shoes and tied them perfectly.
Ready to go!
He took his backpack his coffee and his car keys, and checked if everything was turned off, the stove, the oven, the light, the water boiler......
Alright everything's alright....I.....hope........
He opened the door and locked it behind himself, he opened the trunk and put his backpack in it.
After he had gotten into the car, he started the motor, and put on his favourite cd. It was iron maiden, life after death.
the melody helped him calm his nerves down, after he had gotten quite nervous of not having his daily anxiety pills.
The buildings that passed him and the trees, they all dinn't know, how he was feeling. He had to go to the pharmacy to get his buspirone.
He hurried towards the pharmacy and got out of the car.
Good morning, umm,
He scratched his head and went towards the pharmacist,
I'd need , three packs lf buspirone please, here the recepture from my doctor.
Alright, three times busphirone......I'll take a look
Noah was nervously standing in front of the cashier and waited for the lady to come back.
Next to him there was a kid, that held onto its moms hand. The kid was pulling the mothers arm aggressively, semmingly wanting to get out.
Mommy, i wanna go..... please.....
Noah kept watching, as the pharmacist went through several drawers of medicine packages. suddenly the kid smiled at him, it was quite fascinating, how kids would always go after him.
Look mommy
The kid squealed, and pointed her fingers towards the lanky boy.
Noah forced a crooked smile on his face, as the kid just wouldn't stop looking at him.
Hi, he waved in a small motion at the kid.
Well, sir, I'm sorry to tell you, but we don't have any buspirone in stock right now.
Oh, umm, do you have anything else left? Do you have any anxiety reducing pills?
No, I'm sorry, we don't have anything like this in stock right now, but the delivery will arrive next week.......
No .... I- Its alright. I'll just wait till....you know.
Noah forced a smile and placed his hand on the back of his head.
He stuttered as his hands began to shake again.
Alright, goodbye...
Noah practically jogged out of the pharmacy, and got back into his car, turning the radios volume up, and starting his car.
He drove off and hit the gas. He had to forget the pain, he had to forget the angst
He was fucked, to be exact completely fucked, without his medicine, he was a complete wreck.
He had to concentrate on the lyrics, not on the fact that he coudn't breathe, nor that his heart raced like crazy. He had to focus on the melody. He had to focus on the beauty of sunlight, that blinded his eyes, making them look like pools of honey, the light that warmed his cold skin, the sun that made his hair shine and making his pale skin look like porcelain.
He had to forget about all the bad, and emphasize the good.
But all that was only something that he could dream of, it wouldn't happen. He would think of it again, as they bullied him, as they hit him every day for 8 years. He would think of it, as he didn't want to tell his parents. It came over him, and his heart began to race
He began to gasp as his cold hands got sweaty, and his scalp itched.
I want this to stop, shit, shit......
He screamed as he pulled up in front of the university. He jumped out if the car, grabbed his backpack and ran towards the gate. He buried his head behind his hair, that reached down to his collarbones, he walked quickly, through the halls, He saw all of their faces, their looks burned on his skin, he couldn't take it anymore and ran into a bathroom.
After several long minutes having passed, he many minutes later, he finally arrived at school.
He couldn't breathe, Is hands were trembling, they were cold, although they had become sweaty by his nervousness.
I have to get out of here, I have to hide
