𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐁𝐎𝐎𝐊 𝐎𝐅 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐈 | 𝙎𝙏𝙔𝙇𝙄𝙉𝙎𝙊𝙉

LISTEN BEFORE I GO

"tell me love is endless, don't be so pretentious,"

"what is it? what's buggin' you?" harry asks him after ten minutes of silence, head resting on his knees that are pulled up to his chest. he found louis here, at the park under the bridge, over-looking the water once again. 

this was the third time this month. 

"i don't want to die alone," louis starts voice calm and quiet, eyes fixated on the water, "but the funny part is, i can't see myself living past thirty."

sentences like that were constantly killing harry. he hated to hear his best friend talking like that. he hated the idea of not being louis' best man at his wedding, or their kids not being best friends and growing up together. 

he hated the idea of not having his louis. louis didn't want to live to see the day harry married another.

"is that why you're here again? you didn't answer any of my phone calls, or texts and turned off your location because you're thinkin' about it again?" harry asks, his voice is as soft as he can make it, he's forcing himself to be as calm as possible. 

"that's the thing you seem to not get. harry, it is always on my mind. i can have my weeks where it isn't as prominent, but it is always there."  for the first time that night, louis looked at harry, making eye contact as his eyes watered. 

harry never knew what to say. the more times you find your best friend sitting in front of water, getting ready to jump, the harder it becomes to know what to say. the harder it is to help. 

and it's not that he doesn't want to. he just wishes he knew how to help louis. how to save him. 

"so what does this mean for you?" his eyes haven't left louis'. he's keeping his distance but all he wants to do his pull him up to the sidewalk and hold him as tight as he possibly can. 

louis was due to turn twenty-two in just a few months, and the idea of only having eight years left with louis made harry want to vomit. it wasn't enough time. 

"i don't know," louis shrugs his shoulders, "but don't you worry that pretty little head of yours. i'll be fine."

and god, harry wish he didn't believe that. 

"leave me, like you do."