The ABO Serum

When Holding Hands is Better Than Sex

Somehow, his heat felt worse this time. They told him he'd had a visitor and he knew it must have been Bob. It seemed like Bob was always there for him these days. If he could also be there for him as an alpha during his heats, it would be a perfect relationship. Of course, that was a ridiculous thought coming at the end of his heat when he was exhausted and wanted nothing more than to sleep it off. He didn't like Bob. He just craved him. It was a body thing. And Bob was straight and old. He probably couldn't even get it up anymore. Certainly not for another old guy.

Besides, maybe he wasn't an alpha. What if he transitioned to a beta, or another omega? But Braedon's nose was right. Trevor was an alpha and his reciprocal pair. The GenLife team was quite happy with the outcome of their honeymoon.

But if Bob was his reciprocal pair, what had his husband been? What was Bob's wife for him? They were both incredibly happy with their marriages. Their partners weren't placeholders waiting for fate to pry them away. Was it possible to have more than one reciprocal pair? As many as they'd found, perhaps there were multiple possibilities and the one that found you first was good enough. To call it fate was ascribing a great deal of voodoo to a physiological reaction.

As he prepared to leave quarantine, he texted Bob that they'd be able to meet up to walk the following day. That wasn't soon enough for Bob. He showed up that night at Gary's condominium with dinner at the old guy hour of five o'clock in the evening. "Are you feeling okay? I was worried about you," Bob admitted by way of an excuse for showing up unannounced.

"Just tired," Gary answered, "and hungry." He opened the door wider to let Bob in. He couldn't pass up ready-made food at this point. Bob was a decent cook, and his arms were full. Something besides his would-be-alpha smelled delicious. The eagerness with which Gary unloaded his offering reminded Bob of himself in his courting days. His wife lived by the saying, 'the way to a man's heart is through his stomach.' Bob chuckled, relieved that Gary invited him in. It seemed his wife's maxim was still true.

Why he was trying to get into a man's heart was not something he was prepared to think about. He just was. The way he missed his friend through the last week...he couldn't handle remembering. For years he'd barely noticed he was alone, now suddenly his loneliness was unbearable.

He could see how sleepy Gary was, even as he attacked the food. Bob kept loading his plate until he nearly passed out in it. Then, he walked him into his bedroom, pulled off his shoes and tucked him in. As he started to leave, his hand was caught. Gary was snoring lightly already, but his grasp was firm. He didn't have anywhere else to go so Bob sat on the edge of Gary's bed as he slept and held his hand.

Since his wife passed, he'd not had physical contact like this with another person. He had no children or grandchildren to hold his hand and men, especially older men, were not viewed by society as needing this type of intimate touch. They didn't cuddle each other, and they'd be considered creepy if they initiated hugs when greeting others. The softly wrinkled hand holding his brought tears to his eyes.

By rolling over while still holding on, Gary put Bob in an awkward position. He didn't want to let go, so he adjusted his position to laying on the bed beside Gary and forgot about putting leftover food away or anything else besides the man sleeping beside him and the way it felt to have someone holding on to him.

A combination of snoring and bladder pressure woke Gary in the middle of the night. He realized what he'd done and smiled to think Bob gave in so easily and stayed the night. He relieved himself and cleaned up the food mess before crawling back in bed. He pulled Bob's shoes off and adjusted the blanket to cover them both, then rolled Bob onto his side to try to stop the snoring and snuggled up behind him, spooning against the warm fragrant body he had to admit he now wanted to be his alpha.

The dreams Bob had with that body pressed against his were comforting. He dreamed his wife was hovered over him, brushing his hair aside and saying sweet things that weren't actual words, just feelings of love and support conveyed straight to his heart. He dreamed Gary joined her and did the same. As her presence faded, his grew stronger until it was overwhelming him with love and demanding a response. He didn't know how to respond and woke up abruptly with a powerful sense of urgency for no apparent reason.

Gary was curled up against his side, with his arm flung over Bob's chest. Bob slipped his arm beneath Gary's head and pulled him in closer, so he was embracing the omega. It felt natural. He felt like he ought to be with him. Like he could be a strong protective alpha for Gary. But that's not the way the ABO disease worked. You couldn't pick your outcome.

That they were both men somehow ceased to matter to Bob. The gentle touch mattered. The emotional intimacy mattered. The physical attraction was clear, but less important this time around. He felt a deep love for this man that he'd never expected to feel again in his life. He wanted to spend every day with Gary until the end came. He was willing to commit to the inevitable heartbreak again and gamble that the life they could lead together until then would be worth it. It was all very strange, but everything had become strange in this town since GenLife moved in.

Snuggled in strong masculine arms, Gary dreamed it was his husband there beside him again, holding him close and laughing with him over something or nothing. He looked up into that precious face and heard, "I love it when you're laughing." Then the face faded, and he woke up to find another face looking down at him with the same affection. His eyes seemed to burst into tears of their own accord.

"Shhh, I'm sorry. Are you okay?" Bob didn't know what to do about the sudden waterworks. He started pulling away, but Gary clung to him and wouldn't let him move. He settled for petting the wiry salt and pepper curls of his love until he settled down.

"I'm sorry." Gary sniffled. "I didn't mean to fall apart like that. I had a strange dream."

"It's alright," Bob soothed. "Mine was kind of strange too. But...I was happy to wake up next to you." It was as bold a declaration as Bob could make to another man.

"Me...me too," Gary answered and buried his face in Bob's chest. Bob chuckled at the absurdity of their situation and the warm rumble against Gary's face made a shiver run down his spine.

"Do you have work today? Can I make you some breakfast?" Bob asked. He wasn't prepared to talk anymore about what they were feeling.

"I have to go in at eight for a five-hour shift so there's plenty of time for breakfast," Gary answered and eased his hold on the other man. "I was hoping to walk with you this afternoon."

"We can do that. But for now, let's get you fed. You were crazy hungry last night. Is that because of your heat?" He asked.

"Yeah. It's an overwhelming sort of thing that burns a ton of calories and doesn't give you much opportunity to recharge. It's worse than the first puberty." Gary rolled out of bed. "Mind if I jump in the shower quick before eating?"

"Go ahead. It will take me a bit to figure out your kitchen." Bob rolled out of the bed the other direction. It was so familiarly domestic they both felt a pang of desire for more of this as they headed their separate directions.