The Changes

A New World

"Where do I even start? My life hasn't always been shitty... I had a decent life once. Ya know the white picket fence, handsome dad, loving mother, a brother...we were picture perfect, the definition of what the "American Dream" was. That was until I hit my rebellious stage at the whopping age of 13. It was all down hill from there. I won't go into the fucked up,  gory details of how I ended up here in the institution for troubled women, but I've been here a while...years worth of a while, but that's not the point. I'm turning 23 today, and I'm finally getting out. I haven't had fresh air, or even seen the sun for that matter since the rainy day I arrived. Unless you count the tiny slit windows at the top of each wall. 

 Let me be honest here living here in the institution has been the definition of hell; the male employees like to take advantage of us, I can't tell you how many times I've been slammed against a wall for just saying "no" to one of them asking for a "favor". They're fucking dogs and I've got to be the one to stand up for our little's. I didn't have that when I first got here, and paid the price for it... many of times.  I hope that when I am gone that one of the older girls will step up and be the new "me". The women employees are just as bad if I'm being honest. You want a little extra on your dinner plate? You better expect to have to fuck who ever is making your plate that night because other wise its the normal slice of bread and cup of water. If  you're lucky you'll get a few apple slices. Our health isn't really top priority here. The only thing they care about here is that were alive and our bodies are "strong" enough to survive the outside world when they're ready to release us. I've been here the longest I've seen women come and go of all ages, and I'm not gonna lie its annoying, but finally it's my turn. We all come in here sobbing, and leave here smiling ear to ear, that doesn't last long I assume because the women who leave here always scream the moment that door closes...what's out there...it must be different from the world I knew..  "

"Lydia stop talking to the walls. I hope you have everything packed...not that you have anything that belongs to you to start with.." a tall man with dark, almost black, hair approaches me. The audacity of this guy, right?

"I'm not sure what you mean Jeff I'm only catching my new friends up" I stand  up to face the man and smile. He just shakes his head, and grabs my arm tightly enough that I wince at the pain, as he starts to pull me out of my now empty and dark quarters that I had called home for what seemed like forever, I pull back breaking free from his tight grip. "Whats it like out there? Is it at all like what I remember?" I can't even describe the look on his face, was it concern? Has he even been out there? Right? Come to think of it I don't even think I've seen the doors open except to push girls out... is he stuck here too?"Jeff?" 

"It's changed..but not much" the tone in his voice was strange almost like he was holding something back. That in its self was concerning.  

"After all these years I've never been outside, seen the clouds , come to think of it I haven't seen anyone from the outside world...only those coming in and those leaving..whats going on out there?" he just shook his head and continued to pull me towards those large wooden doors. 

"I can't tell you anything, but I will say it's not the same..." he pulls me in closer "Dia you need to watch yourself out there don't trust a single soul you come by...they're out there to hurt you... "

I stop in my tracks. He looks around the large lobby to ensure there's no one looking and mouths "be safe" he shoves me out the door and it locks behind me.  I stare for a moment and as i turn around to look at the new world in front of me I now understand... It's chaos...

I almost want to turn around and bang on the door to get back in, but I know they wont open the doors even if I tried... so I'll take the first step into my new life...