The Old Soul (A Two and A Half Men Fanfic)

I Thought I Used Protection Part Two

Christine was sitting in the living room near the entrance of the house when Alan and Charlie was in the kitchen.

"I have a kid and I have to take care of her," Charlie said in shock.

"I'll help you Charlie, it says so in Tracy's will that we share custody, she wanted me to help because she knew you needed it. You have zero experience in taking care of a kid, I do. She's a teenager, she won't be too difficult. No feeding her with a bottle, no changing her diaper."

"I know she's a teenager, too old to be diaper changed or spoon fed. I'm just in shock."

"Why?"

"I thought I used protection!"

Berta walked in.

"Charlie, what's all this about having a kid?"

"This teenaged girl showed up at my door, her mother is a lady I used to date around the time Alan and Judith were dating. I had no idea I had a kid."

"You probably have others you don't know about."

"Berta, I used protection on the others I swear to God. You got kids don't you Berta?"

"Yes but I actually raised em while working my ass off as a single mom. Don't make me clean up after her, I got it bad with Taterhead as it is."

"She's older than Jake, she's 16, old enough to drive, trust me, I don't think she'll be a bother," Alan said.

Christine walked in the kitchen.

"I clean up after myself, I can do my own laundry."

"We're not saying you couldn't Christine, this is the housekeeper Berta."

They shook hands, Berta smiled.

"Well lookee, she has your eyes Charlie."

"I think I look a lot like him."

"Let me see."

Charlie walked her and examined her.

"Yep, she's got my eyes, her mother's nose, and Alan's mouth."

Christine laughed. Alan looked at her too.

"Well she is a Harper!"

Then, there was a knock on the door.

"That might be Jake."

Alan went to answer the door while Christine followed close by. It was Jake and Judith.

"Hi Alan."

"Hi Judith, Hi Jake."

"Hi Dad," Jake said.

"Jake needs some help with math homework."

"Ok, I'll be happy to help him. How's Herb doing?"

"Just fine, thanks for asking."

Judith noticed Christine.

"Hello," Judith said politely.

"Hi, you must be Judith."

They shook hands.

"And this cutie must be Jake."

She held up her fist, wanting a fist bump.

"Fist bump?" Jake asked.

"Yep."

They fist bumped, Jake smiled.

"Who are you?" Judith asked.

"Oh, this is Christine, Charlie's lovechild, we just met her," Alan said.

"Oh..."

"It's ok Ms. Harper, they had no idea I existed until today and they're willing to take me in...I hope, got no other place so."

"Her mother left a will."

"Ah," Judith nodded.

"I got a cousin!" Jake said.

"So, I gotta be getting back, nice meeting you Christine."

"You too!"

She left.

"You like video games?" Jake asked.

"Yeah, when I get my stuff moved in, we could play my PlayStation 2 together."

"Won't that be nice?" Alan asked.

"Yeah."

"But you got homework to do this weekend."

"Aw man."

"I can help him, I aced all my math classes."

"Really?" Alan asked in shocked.

"Yeah, I'm really good at math."

"Your father used to be a math wiz but drinking made his brain jiggly."

"I'm still a math wiz!" Charlie shouted from the kitchen.

Berta could be heard laughing.

"What's 13 times 379?" Christine asked Charlie.

"Woah...uh..."

"We're waiting Charlie," Alan said.

"4927, it's from that Matilda movie," Christine said.

Alan and her laughed.