Go Your Own Way

chapter 12

Somewhere in the back of Kurt's mind he knew he shouldn't be letting Blaine drive his Navigator. He didn't even know if Blaine had a license, but he was–much to Kurt's surprise–doing the speed limit and obeying all the traffic laws Kurt could think of so he didn't protest. It wasn't a fight he could win when he was this tired and tearful.

Blaine pulled into the same visitor's spot and got out, shouldering both of their bags. Kurt looked around to see if Belinda was acting as guard dog over her parking space again but the lot was empty. As Blaine rounded the front of the car and made to pass by his door he paused. After a moment he pulled Kurt's door open, and grunted, "Come on, Hummel."

Kurt wiped at his still streaming eyes and slid out, letting Blaine close the door behind him. Some part of him was surprised at the gesture, but he was also realizing how vital these little things were to Blaine. He'd heard the other boy's intense struggle for words just to say he was sorry and he knew how uncomfortable his crying had made him. The easiest way for Blaine to communicate was through physical actions and part of him knew its why he'd come on so strong when they'd met. He didn't know how to just tell Kurt he liked him because when it came to Blaine, that was the only thing Kurt was sure about.

Blaine shouldered the door to his room open and waved Kurt inside. His stomach gave a funny jerk as he remembered what they'd done the last time they'd been here. Behind him, he heard the heavy trunk dragging across the floor as Blaine wedged it between the door and the dresser. His own clean and well-cared for bag was dropped onto the bed with Blaine's half-shredded one. If it had been anyone else he would have felt awkward just standing there with tears still pooling in his eyes. But for some reason he didn't quite understand, with Blaine of all people, he didn't feel embarrassed or stupid or like he was making things more difficult.

One of the dresser drawers being yanked open drew his attention. The apple from lunch was dropped inside and the leather jacket was peeled off and draped over the little fridge. Blaine glanced at him almost nervously and then shuffled backwards towards the opening in the wall where the bathroom was hidden. Blaine cleared his throat roughly, and flipped a thumb over his shoulder, "I'm just gonna..."

He trailed off as he slipped behind the wall. A door creaked closed and Kurt was alone. Well, as alone as he could get in the tiny apartment with paper-thin walls. Through the far wall he heard the sounds of a television blaring some talk show and the cling of a toilet lid through the back wall were Blaine was. His eyes drifted to the bed again. After last time he didn't feel right sitting on it. But he couldn't just stand here and let his mind wander back to–

No. He didn't want to think about it.

The drawer that Blaine had opened was still slightly cracked. He hesitated for a moment, knowing Blaine could very well get upset at him for going through his stuff, but he needed something to distract him without Blaine in the room.

It rattled slightly as he pulled it open. Apples, oranges and a couple of bananas. Nothing particularly exciting. So he opened the one next to it, and then the two on the row below. Every single one was full of some type of food–half a dozen boxes of cereal; bags of cookies and chips; boxes of fruit snacks and granola bars and just anything that didn't have to be cooked or kept cold. It was all tossed inside without a thought to organization which was exactly what he'd expected. After a few minutes of rummaging everything was stacked and ordered neatly. He felt a little more relaxed as he stood back up; organizing things always help him calm down.

Blaine was still doing whatever in the bathroom. Part of him thought he knew the answer but really he definitely didn't need to think about Blaine getting off ten feet away from where he stood. He looked around for something else to organize, taking in the thick, copper pipes running parallel to the wall on the far side of the dresser and the empty space next to the little counter in the corner beyond.