Stand Up And Scream (Jack Barakat)

The Family I chose

"You're such a dick, you know that?"

"Guys, stop." I shouted over them. The band couldn't use another argument, especially before their first tour. "Alex, back down. Its got nothing to do with you."

"I think it does if my best friend is trying to make a move on my sister!" He yelled. The words felt bitter, but I said them anyway.

"I'm not your sister, Alex!" I yelled. Alex's face dropped and he walked across the room, slumping down into a chair next to Rian and Zach. All of the faces in the room had dropped, leaving four mouths open in shock. "I'll be in my room. Unpacking."

And so I left. I ran upstairs with tears in my eyes and emptied my suitcase. I could hear footsteps on their way up, but I couldn't determine who's they were. It was probably Alex, who would yell and shout until he felt better. I didn't want him to. I moved the clothes out of the case and placed them back in the drawers where they belonged, took my shoes and lined them up at the end of my bed, and sat in the corner of my room.

The footsteps had stopped a while ago, but I was wary anyway. If Jack was outside, he'd have knocked, and nobody had knocked so far. If it was Alex, he'd have stormed in... Maybe nobody had come upstairs anyway. I stood up and walked over to the pictures on my wall, pulling a picture of Alex and I down and grabbing a pen. On the back, I quickly scribbled six words.

Then the door opened, but I didn't turn. I had no time for either of them at the moment. I wished my life was more simple for that one moment, and then a reassuring hand fell softly onto my shoulder. Without turning, I knew who stood there.

"Hey Ketchup," I greeted. Zach's arms turned me around and pulled me in for a hug, that of which I quickly returned. Hugs make most people feel better. For me, they make things worse. I sobbed into Zach's chest, but he didn't let me go.

"They've apologised to each other, I'll come with you if you want to go down. We're ordering pizza," He told me. I pulled away from the hug and smiled. Pizza was an offer I couldn't resist. I smiled and gave him another quick hug.

"Okay." I said simply. I looked at the clock which hung above my door and my eyes widened. I'd been in my room for over an hour.

"Can I ask something?" He spoke as we left my room. I nodded, willing him to continue. "What is going on between you and Jack?" I sighed and sat on the top step. Zach also stopped and sat a few steps below.

"I don't know." I admitted. That wasn't a lie at all. "Promise not to say anything to Alex?" I asked.

"I don't see how its gonna help you, but okay." He told me, smiling.

"I've liked Jack for years, I just haven't told him until now." Zach smiled wickedly and I knew exactly what he was thinking. "You already knew?"

"Of course I did; Rian and Alex knew as well, but we just didn't say anything to either of you. Jack was the same too, but again, we didn't tell you." I felt my mouth drop in betrayal and I sarcastically turned my face away from him and replied.

"We're not friends any more." I folded my arms and pretended to have a tantrum over it, but he just picked me up over his shoulder and carried me down the stairs kicking and screaming at him to put me down.

"So then Jack's part here and-" Alex began. The three were sat around the coffee table on the three seater sofa with Alex's lyric book in front of them. He changed the subject as soon as I was placed on the floor in the living room and walked out of the room, leaving me with the others.

"Who took a shit in his cornflakes" I asked. Rian cleared his throat.

"He's pissed off at what you said." He quickly explained. Alex walked back into the room with a beer in one hand and two more in the other. He handed one each to Zach and Rian, but Jack swiftly walked out of the room before he could take the bottle.

"The truth hurts, doesn't it?" I ask him. Rian and Zack stood up and quickly left the room and headed into the kitchen. Alex looked up at me, his eyes sad and full of thought.

"I'm sorry." He started. I shook my head. "I'm a terrible brother. I understand why you hate me, Lace."

"I don't hate you." I told him honestly. And it was the truth. I just hated how he was so protective over me. "You're the closest family I have, and even if we don't have the same blood, it doesn't matter."

"I'm still sorry for over reacting." He took a sip of his drink. "It wasn't like it was a secret anyway; you two have been eye-fucking each other for years." I felt my face turn a light shade of pink and I hit him on the back of the head.

"Have not." I argue back. Alex chuckled and smiled up at me. "Look. I think of you as my family, just like I think of Rian, Zach and Jack as my family. Your family is who you make your family. Whether we have the same parents or not, you're my big brother and I love you to bits." I told him.

"You're a dick sometimes, you know that?" He asked, ruffling my hair. "I'll order your pizza, go and pack your stuff." I looked at the floor.

"I'm still sorry. I over reacted too, to that... Dispute earlier." I attempted to apologise again, but Alex simply shook it off with the wave of a hand as he walked into the kitchen. Sighing, I stood up again and paced out of the room quietly. I didn't know whether I wanted to pack my things again now, but I knew that if I didn't, I wouldn't do it until it was too late, and then I'd leave something behind.

***

The night slipped by quickly, and as I sat on the floor in front of Alex while he braided part of my hair (which I had no idea he could do) I couldn't help but think about the tour which was drawing closer and closer by the day. Jack had already managed to complete six levels of a Shrek game on the Playstation 2 drunk by the time he'd finished and tied the tiny plait at the end with a blue rubber band.

Zach had resorted to sleeping on the sofa as my watch beeped and told me it was time to go to bed. I rubbed my eyes and yawned before turning to Alex and giving him a quick hug, then rolled over on the floor to reach Jack. He and Rian were also falling asleep, so I left the words and wished them a good sleep with a simple hug. When I reached Jack, however, he hugged me tighter and I felt him smiling into the crook of my neck.

"Night Jack," I whispered to him. He giggled in response and let me go. Alex had fallen asleep sitting with his back against the sofa, and Rian had climbed onto it and was snoring lightly. I decided to take Jack upstairs so that he wouldn't have to sleep on the floor. "Come on,"

"Where we going?" He slurred as I took his hand and dragged him toward the stairs.

"You're going to bed," I told him. He stopped dead and looked me in the eye.

"Don't leave me alone." He pleaded quietly. At first, I didn't know what to say to him, but as I pulled on his hand again and lead him upstairs and toward his room, it came to me.

"You're not alone, ever." I promised him, opening his door.

"Lace?"

"Hm?"

"Come here." Jack placed his hand around the back of my neck and gently pulled me in closer to him before our lips collided. I hesitated, but kissed him back, moving my arms to rest on his shoulders as I stood on my tip toes. He pulled away after a moment, and I struggled to regain my senses after what had happened. "I had to do that once." He admitted.

Then he closed the door and I was left in the hallway; confused and completely and utterly in love.