What If?

Part Three

"Why have you kept this from me for five years? Areum, is this why you treat him like you hate him?" Jooheon tried to hold in the feeling of despair that flowed through his veins. Tears threatened to fall, but he blinked them away quickly.

"I don't hate him. I just sometimes wish we had been more careful." Areum shrugged at this statement. Jooheon noticed a sense of relief in her eyes at the truth finally coming out.

"To Cameron it seems like you do. It's so very apparent to him that he bullys kids in daycare the way you treat him here at home. I know I also need to stop letting him walk all over me, but you need to stop being so strict and mean to him. It hurts seeing him hurt over you not showing him any love no matter how much he tries and works for it." Jooheon explained earnestly, thankful they finally had a discussion that didn't turn into and argument.

"I don't hate him." Areum repeated before hesitantly continuing. "But I don't feel the same love for him you do."

"What do you mean?"

"There's an attachment I feel because he is half of me, but beyond that I don't really feel much more. Sometimes I wish I did. I thought maybe once he was born I'd feel that love you have, but I don't. I'm sorry."

"I want to help you work on that. Especially if it means you'll treat him better." Jooheon sighed deeply, organizing his thoughts. "Areum, I love you. I know we have our rocky points, but as long as we talk it through we can get through them. We need to get back to that, instead of fighting with each other all the time."
Areum nodded, tears staring to fall down her cheeks. She stood up, pulling Jooheon up onto his feet. She buried her face into his chest. Jooheon could feel her tears soaking into his shirt as he wrapped his arms around his wife.

"I love you, Jooheon." Areum's shaky, muffled voice held so much emotion. Jooheon only held on to her tighter. This felt like a step in the right direction. He knew they still had things to work on, but he could finally see a light at the end of this tunnel.

"Let's go to bed. I'm exhausted. I know you're exhausted, and we can talk in the morning."

"Let's get a shower first." Areum pulled her face from his chest, leaning back slightly. She reached for his hands to guide him into their bathroom. Jooheon smirked as Areum started to undress in front of him. He quickly took his clothes off, almost tripping, and discarded them haphazardly on the floor. Areum had already started the shower and disappeared behind the curtain. He quickly followed her.
A while later, Jooheon found himself laying on the bed, staring up at the ceiling while his thoughts raced. Areum was sound asleep, head on his chest, and the rest of her clinging tightly to his side. He had been reminded of the question he had swirling in his head in his dream: what if. His heart was so full of love for Areum, but he was so in love with the Changkyun from his dream. In the dream, he had thought about Areum only as a fond memory of the love they shared, but in this reality he pined over Changkyun. Even though he would love to chase after Changkyun, he knew he would end up just trying to fix what he had with Areum. Suddenly, as he drifted into sleep, he knew what his answer would be. He wanted his dream. He wanted Changkyun.

"Honey." A familiar, beautifully husky voice groaned into Jooheon's ear. He rolled towards the voice, sleepily opening his eyes. Changkyun's soft smile sent electric shocks of happiness through his body, and Jooheon mirrored the smile. He felt Changkyun's hands roaming up his bare chest. He pulled Changkyun into a passionate kiss, his hands resting on the hips he always found so irresistible. Changkyun let out a sharp breath through his nose, and moaned into the kiss. Jooheon pulled Changkyun flush against him, wanting to touch every inch of the man he had missed so much.
Before things went any further, the door slammed open and Cameron ran in. The child jumped onto the bed as Changkyun quickly pulled away from Jooheon. He playfully takled Cameron to the bed, tickling him and leaving soft kisses on his face. Cameron squealed in delight, giggling uncontrollably.

"Help! Daddy, help me!" Cameron pleaded playfully through giggles. Jooheon laughed heartily, loving the moment he was caught in.

"I've got you buddy!" He cried out, joining in on the tickling. Cameron squirmed away from them, and crawled off the bed.

"Traitor!" Cameron giggled at Jooheon before taking off out of the room.

"I love you." Jooheon gushed happily, at the man he pulled back into his arms.

"I love you." Changkyun answered just as happily, nuzzling his nose against Jooheon's. "Breakfast?"

"Breakfast sounds amazing." Jooheon kissed Changkyun once again before watching him leave to make breakfast. He laid back down as he tried to work through what had happened. Yesterday Areum was alive, and today he had the love of his life back in his life. Jooheon felt the reality he had lived in yesterday fading away. He grasped onto one last thought as he realized this reality was the right one and not a dream: he would always choose Changkyun, but he would never stop loving Areum.