Winter bites (ONE SHOT FLUFF)

The groke

It was cold in moominvalley; as usual.
Snufkin was thinking about Moomin again. Moomin had gone away for a bit to look for some food, while he was at home missing the trips he would go on and running free to the warm summer south.
Snufkin walked over to the window and reflected on his claustrophobic surroundings. He had always loved the empty Moomin house but, during winter it was worse, cruel, cold and lonely. It was a place that encouraged his tendency to feel upset ever since November. It wasn't as lively or warm as it would be.
Snufkin sighed. He glanced at his reflection in the window. He was a small, soft mumrik with sad eyes and messy hair. His friends saw him as a fine, free-spirited boy, able to do what he wants... He had recently taken Toffle under his wing while waiting for the moomins to return.
But not even a kind spirit like Snufkin, who had looked after a child, was prepared for what winter had in store this year. Snufkin had come back from Moominvalley, but unfortunately, he had come too late to leave again, for he waited for his friend to come home. He longed for the return of Moomintroll but by the time Moomintroll came back on a boat, winter had hit, hard. It had left snufkin forced to stay behind for the harsh months, as a blizzard struck before he had the chance to leave, making it too dangerous. Though it never bothered Snufkin, with danger and all, the Moomin begged for his safety and Snufkin never thought it would be bad. But now the mumrik is stuck with his own fears, possessiveness and mind, being enclosed and left to his thoughts and his feelings. Which scared snufkin to his bone. He had always wanted to be free and do whatever he wanted, but recently he had found himself doing the opposite, not wanting his dear friend leaving him behind. Thoughts ran through snufkins head like busy traffic in a fussy city, a conversation he once had with Moomin on the hobgoblin.
"Wow, he must really love that ruby"
"No, he wants to possess it, there's a difference"
It felt so similar to snufkin. He implied that there was a difference between loving and possessing...
Loving and possessing...
The snow flurried like sighing creatures of the cold, making Snufkin feel closed in. Snufkin grabbed a metal harmonica that had been strewn nearby; he massaged it with his fingers.
"SNUFKIN!" A certain familiar called out, it struck snufkin out of his gaze as he went to open the window and put the ladder down for Moomintroll. The lower half of the house was snowed in.
As Snufkin stepped aside and as Moomin was climbing in, he could see the warm smile on his face and the cold bleed in.
"Well well, back again so soon?" Snufkin asked, smiling.
Moomin gazed with excitement. He said, in excited hushed tones, "I know you're feeling closed in but, I found a fishing spot!" Moomintroll fell onto the ground which surprised Snufkin for a moment, but Moomin got up straight away. "Maybe we can go fishing when the snow melts a bit?" He huffed heavily.
Snufkin looked back, feeling even more closed in and still fiddling with the metal Harmonica in his pocket. "Well Maybe... Moomin, the cold can be unpredictable" he replied as he pulled the ladder in and closed the window, stopping the cold from seeping in. Moomin shook his fur and snow flew in all directions but melting before coming in contact with the ground.
"I know but, we can get through this, It will be fun. Besides, I know how much you've been longing to get out and it's finally nice enough today" revealed Moomin, which Snufkin responded with a small smile. He was right.
"Besides, it's nice enough for you to got for a walk on your own!" Right again.
Snufkin thought for a moment as they looked at each other with longing and closed off eyes, like two wiggly, high-pitched hattifatteners during a storm, it seemed like they stared for ages but it was only a few seconds.
Snufkin huffed and Moomintrolls ears and fluffy fur stood on its end
"You are right... Alright Moomintroll, sure. You'll have to show me the fishing spot." he spoke, giving in
Moomin looked relieved, his emotions going haywire, like a herring gull. It had been so tense since snufkin stayed within the Moomin house. He had only been there for a week and a half but things had been awkward and stressful. Going out finally would be such a relief on them both.
In the meantime, Moomin invited snufkin to join him, for a nice cup of tea, to forget about life for a while. Snufkin happily agreed and on the way down, Moomin cracked a joke which made snufkin chuckle a bit.
After tea, the two packed up and got ready to go fishing and walking. They left the ladder down so they can get back in without digging to the front door and off they went.
While they were walking, snufkin remained quiet throughout it all, listening as moomintrolls voice faded into his own internal monologues. Snufkin should be happy he's finally going out on his own, he can be with nature. But why does he feel so enclosed still?
Like he's in a small box with no breathing holes. It all felt claustrophobic, but why? His mind kept running. As he looked over to his dear friend Moomintroll voices began to grow in his mind, overcrowding the moomins voice.
'Am I being.. possessive?'
'He must think I'm coming on too strong'
'maybe I should be more spacious and cautious.'
'he might hate me'
'I don't want him to ever leave but at the same time, I want to be on my own, he also needs his space'
Moomintroll noticed snufkin looking at him very strangely and waved his hands a bit
"Snufkin? Snufkinnn? Hello?"
Snufkin suddenly snapped out of it and sighed putting his head down and walking faster, further in front. Moomintroll slowed down a bit looking confused as ever.
What.. Just.. Happened..?
The Moomin just figured snufkin wanted to be on his own and didn't want to disturb him. He got it. He knows that his friend needs his space and he's given more respect to that then he did before, oddly not feeling sad when his friend has to go.
Snufkin was feeling uneasy and thought moomintroll didn't care. Where did this come from? He's.. Not feeling sad... It made Snufkin feel different for once but he shook it off, giving himself more distance between Moomin and himself. Usually, sometimes, this would be a reoccurring feeling. The way Snufkin would deal with it would be to leave himself on his own to forget about it. But this time Snufkin couldn't go anywhere, which made his feelings grow even stronger. Especially around Moomin.
The reason he had to be free was not really because he was a vagabond, destined and tied to nature. It WAS part of the reason, but overtime, Snufkin felt he would become possessive and enclose himself by getting too close with moomintroll. Love was something Snufkin never thought about and assumed he would never experience it, due to his freedom. He isn't one to become attached, for it was his fear. His fear was to enclose himself and others if he fell in love; He would become a possessive monster that wished for constant attention that he hated. so he would always run away than rather face his fears. He was Philophobic, touch starved, afraid of making emotional attachments. He always refused hugs as he felt he would linger so long, he'd never let go.
Moomintroll once had fears to face. The fear of change. The fear of doing something new. He always wanted things to stay the same. But as his mother said; "Sometimes a life that is too good can actually make you restless and you must change things up a bit before you start taking them for granted"
Moomintroll had faced his fears in the form of the groke by the change and he changed for good...
While with snufkin, despite his ease in dealing with change, he had always seen the valley and its inhabitants as something that is constant and everlasting. He always had a place to return to and they would always welcome him back, it would always be there for him...
He had taken it for granted... When it was taken away from him for what he thought was forever, that he realized how much he relied on it... On moomintroll and snufkin began to realize that as he walked.
A shiver ran up both the boys spines as it objectively got colder. A lingering but familiar spirit was sensed nearby. Snufkin let out a shaky breath as he backed up a bit, hearing the groans and moans come from afar. For once in his life,
Snufkin was afraid...
They say the groke reflects the deepest and darkest fears we have in the form of herself. For Moomin it was change, for snufkin;
It was love and abandonment.
And snufkin knew that the groke was coming to reflect his fears because it was showing in himself.
Moomintroll stopped as soon as Snufkin stopped walking, standing in the open forest and the cold and groans grew near.
Moomintroll recognised it straight away but wondered why she was coming. Snufkin had never really had to deal with the groke except for when it came after him the first time. He tried to convince himself she was after the moominparents but deep down he knew. Every time he yearned and fell into his own despair, she would always be nearby. But ever since he kept coming back to Moominvalley recently, she would come closer and nearer, he couldn't keep on running. He was trapped.
"Why is she here?" Snufkin turned around looking into moomintrolls eyes, hiding his fears. It grew nearer and colder.
Moomintroll looked back into the sad and scared eyes of snufkin. He was surprised, Moomin had never seen the brave Snufkin cower and be afraid...
"I don't know snufkin, are you alright?"
Snufkin grew frustrated and turned around.
"I'm fine, let's hurry up and go back before-" Before snufkin could finish his sentence he had bumped into the icy groke herself who reached out to him, groaning. Snufkin looked around before meeting her gaze, taken back by her sudden visit.
"Euuuuhh~"
She went lunging towards snufkin, moomintroll came in to protect snufkin as the mumrik walked back tripping over a stick.
"What do you want now?" Moomintroll demanded, feeling braver then he would be of her before.
The lonely soul looked up over moomintroll to snufkin and the Moomin turned to snufkin after.
"Why is she after you..?"
Snufkin looked as if he would burst. He wanted to tell Moomin but every time he opened his mouth the fear stopped him, causing the groke to grow colder.
Things were getting freezing as the wind began to pick up, a snow storm seemingly beginning to start around the three, as odd as it sounded.
"It's me... My fears they're-" Snufkin put a hand over his mouth.
"Snufkin!" Moomintroll began. "I don't know what fears you're feeling but you need to face them right now..! Its the only way we can get out of this, or we'll freeze to death!" he put his paws on snufkins shoulders.
Snufkin continued to fear and feel trapped but he needed to tell Moomin, shaking from the cold. Moomin sat down slowly as he shivered and the storm raged on. Snufkin and Moomin began to seemingly freeze to death ever so slowly.
"Sn-Snufkin... Y-you need too.." Moomintroll sputtered. Snufkin looked helplessly at the Moomin boy as the groke groaned more and the storm danced graciously.
Snufkin finally moved his hands and let it out.
"This is it... I have let my fears consume me. I always told myself I needed to be free but truly I never was. Like a coward, I've been running away instead of facing this. I always ran away from my feelings because I was scared. I was scared of you leaving me behind, replacing me if I was gone too long, but I was also scared of becoming attached and possessive to a point you'd hate me. And so I've pushed you away which has made my own fears come true. you're in this mess because of me Moomintroll... And I'm sorry. I never acknowledged the fact that you might be dragged into this, and that was the most selfish thing I've ever done. Every way I turned, Moomin, It felt there were new problems to face so I kept running in between. I felt I was pulled in so many directions I didn't know which way I'd turn."
The storm began to slow down and moomintroll listened carefully.
"I have been fond over you so long and I yearned to be loved but I feared it so much. I wanted to run away from it forever but look at me now. I never thought someone like me wanted to be loved so much by someone as jolly and foolish as you. I had to keep telling myself, nothing would ever happen. No matter what. I kept hurting you. And instead of talking and facing this, I ran. You're a splendid Moomin,, the best I've ever known. And I can't keep hiding it. There is a difference between loving and possessing, all this time I thought I wanted to possess you... But I wanted to love you and for you to love me too. To me Moomin, you are my home, someone I'll always come back to. But I never wanted this to end up in a pile of dragons spit.."
The storm blew over and stopped suddenly, almost as if it were frozen in time, as snufkin put his head in his knees.
Moomin had heard it all and was shocked by what he heard.
It all made sense now... Moomintroll let out a soft sigh that echoed in the midst of it all. The groke watched on and groaned lightly.
"Snufkin"
The mumrik flinched at the name. Suddenly he felt pressure on him, arms wrapped around his curled up body and the soft warm fur of a Moomin. Moomintroll had pulled the boy into a hug and spoke gently
"You're not selfish. Never... If only I could understand before, things would have been so much different.." He was at a loss of words.
A sad chuckle came from snufkins mouth, and Moomin sighed again.
"I was so fond of you... You were my home. I always envied your freedom and your ability to come and go as you please... But I longed for you to come back... I waited for you to come back.. every day I sat on the bridge from the first day I'd wake up, seeing when you would return. I would wait till late at night and was so happy when you would come back.."
Snufkin grew silent again.
"And I loved you so much. As I've changed now, I've grown up and accustomed to change. The groke helped me find and face my fears... And you did that now... Snufkin-"
Before moomintroll could speak again snufkin interrupted him
"I know, you've moved on.."
"No. I still love you as much as I did before."
And like that the tears started flowing. The tears snufkin had held in so tight for such a long time. It seemed all his worries and fears flowed throughout them and he felt brave. Snufkin slowly wrapped his arms around the fluffy Moomin and buried his face into his furry neck, letting the salty eye juice (lmao) wet the fur.
Moomintroll held snufkin tighter and the storm went away, the groke leaving with it.
"How anti-climatic that was"
They both laughed under tears.
"You're my very special friend, Snufkin"
"As are you to me, Moomin, and always will be."
Ít was silent..
"So.. About that fishing trip?"

The end.