Broken Strings

Testing the Water

" Hoy hoy hoy your getting ahead of yourself Jaturapoom!" Beam

Forth just shows his gummy smiles, one thing he is surprise to still have or have forgotten; well the power of Beam to his system.

“ Because you are too early,  you have no choice but to wait Jaturapoom. Make yourself at  home, my Nanny is probably busy with Fah at the other room, it’s her meal time already. I have to see what other things she needs.”  Beam

“Make yourself at home? I like the sound of that, can I really do that Bee?”  Forth teases.

“Shut Up Jaturapoom, I still have things to do.”  Beam

Forth laughs, its too nice that he can actually have this kind of conversation with his Bee, as if three long years is just yesterday.

“Nothing’s funny Jaturapoom! You’re enjoying this too much aren't you?!”  Beam

“Of course I am Bee, its funny hearing you call me Jaturapoom on the first place. I even assumed you’ll hate that surname forever.” Forth who intentionally blurted an untouched topic. He wonders if it’s too early to tackle. And he confirms that it is the moment Beam showed him is cold eyes.

Forth immediately stands up and even without permission patted  or more likely massaging both of Beam’s shoulder to calm an uninvited sudden outburst.

“Sorry,  I am being tackless. I am deliberately testing the water by mentioning that untouched topic. Sorry I know  it’s too much for a first date. Forget it Bee.” Forth who is again using his doe eyes to Beam.

“…”
“…”
“…”

“I  hope I did not totally ruin your mood for tonight Bee. I am happy actually, I miss hearing you calling me Jaturapoom and I just want to make sure you don’t have the slightest painful prick everytime you call me that. I’ll be more careful next time” Forth

“Don’t …” Beam

“Don’t?” Forth is a little confused.

“  Yes don’t. You are right we need to keep testing the water. I also want to know too how far can I handle it. I need to make sure I know what I am doing right now. I need to know if this decision of seeing you again is actually right, because  I want to stop this fast, without investing too much emotion  to this if  indeed we are not capable of handling this affair.  I rather live a life separately with you if what we have now will only end up the same with the last time Forth. I don’t think I a recover the second time around . You knew its different now, I have a LIFE under my care , this is not just about US Forth.” Beam

“I know baby I know. We’ll get it right this time I promise.  You have to know this, this time I will own my promise. Trust on me one last time Bee, I will never let anyone hurt you  or anyone dear to you Bee.”

This time Forth has to hug Beam. He don’t care anymore, he feels that he need to give a reassurance hug to his Bee. He was just glad Beam allows him too.

“Don’t  try to walk tiptoed Forth. I don’ want you to act so careful around me, as if you are walking on a land mine.  I don’t want us to dodge sensitive topic just because we are both afraid to fight or to have an awkward air between us. Let us not repeat the same mistake we had before, we intentionally  dodge topic just because we are too considerate with each other, until finally it become too much for us to carry  that we ended up losing it all.” Beam

“ I will Bee, I will not decide on my own this time promise. I will discuss everything with you even if we end up arguing with it.” Forth

“Live with your words Jaturapoom, I hate lousy human being  who can’t keep on their words!” Beam