Lean On Me

The Familiar Things

 Most people answer their partner when they ask questions or chatter away. But Mary wasn’t most people. She laid there facing the wall as Freddie climbed into bed beside her still blabbering.  She felt his hand on her shoulder. The other thing about familiarity was how one was able to predict actions of another. This was Freddie’s way of falling asleep. She could feel his sweet fingertips work her shoulder like a squeeze stress ball, prodding and squishing her with each fingertip. She looked at the clock and made a mental note of how long this would last before he began to drift away. Sometimes, instead of leaning on the person you loved, you simply needed to lie there and let them go through their rituals. Freddie didn’t expect any answers from Mary as he asked questions and laughed about the times they had in Los Angeles.  But as the gentle rain passed the time, his fingers became quieter in nature and his conversation having more gaps. Finally, the room became quiet. “I love you too, Fred.” Mary finally mumbled under her breath in the silence.

 In another familiar London home, Chrissie had fallen asleep with Jimmy in the rocker in the nursery. Brian woke rather suddenly, realizing she hadn’t come to bed since they had arrived home.  He knew precisely where she was as he had the routine memorized: bath time, bottle, clean clothes, and time in the rocker before bed. The only problem in the routine this time was that Jimmy was about to slide out of Chrissie’s arms in the rocker. Brian walked into the nursery and sure enough, there they were about to slide out of the rocker together. He walked over to the two of them, gently working his hands underneath Jimmy and trying not to wake Chrissie though knowing it was inevitable. She jumped at the feeling of Jimmy being taken from her arms.

 “Oh…oh I’m sorry. I fell asleep, at least I guess I did.” She said a little incoherently as Brian took the still sleeping Jimmy and placed him in his crib.

 “It’s okay, it’s okay. Ssshhh. He’s sound asleep. C’mon. Come to bed. “ He said, reaching his arms out to Chrissie after laying Jimmy down to rest. She wearily took his hands and followed Brian into their bed.

 “He fell asleep really quickly.” She said as Brian tucked her in.

 “So did you.” Brian said, curling up beside her. He gazed at her very sleepy face in their dimly lit bedroom. As his soft eyes watched her, he had nearly forgotten how comforting the smell of the baby was. As Chrissie laid there mostly asleep he could smell Jimmy on her. Sometimes, it felt like, to Brian; that he led a double life…a life like LA, fast, without boundary and a constant swirl of bright lights. And the life that was surrounding him at the moment: one of peace, quiet and the tender smell of baby powder. As he watched Chrissie slip off into slumber he thought of his own exhaustion, a different kind than Chrissie’s. She had been tending to Jimmy despite her own jet lag. Brian almost felt selfish, having fallen asleep while she catered to him. Comfort. That’s what he had in Chrissie and in Jimmy. He knew he shouldn’t feel this wave of guilt. He watched as the most predictable, and comfortable sight of his life drifted away to sleep entirely. Los Angeles had been quite the ride, but this was home and home, was comfortable.

 Back in Surrey, I had just opened up the package as Roger turned the shower off. I was still rather perplexed until I pulled out what was inside. I gasped. It was a record.

 “What did you get that’s making you smile like that?” Roger asked rubbing a towel all over him before throwing it aside and turning out the bathroom light. Well, I suppose it was apparent he wasn’t bothering with clothes at this point. He practically pulled all the blankets off me as he slid onto his side of our bed. “What is that?” he asked, leaning over my newly arrived package. I reached out a hand and pushed him back, smiling even more. I read what was written in red permanent marker: TO THE HOTTEST LOVER OF MY LIFE, -XO DEBBIE. I was beyond tickled. The record was Parallel Lines. Hell, I still had her underwear packed away in my suitcase.

 “Hey, why did she address this to you? She’s talking about me right? I mean, she clearly wrote this to me.” Roger said, taking the record from my hand. I sighed at his stupidity, looking over at him.

 “My tongue did things to her you didn’t even know were possible.” I reminded him, taking my record back.

 “I knew they were possible! I just…” he stopped because I was getting that look of ‘I don’t know how to finish this sentence.’

 “You just what?” I asked, waiting for the end of that sentence that never came. Roger shook his head.

 “I have no idea. You two nearly made my head explode because you were just so damn hot.”

 “Correction. We did….make your head explode.” I said, reaching over him to put my record on the nightstand. As I sunk into the covers beside him a thought crossed my mind. Why do we judge the actions of others? Why do we look for fault in someone else’s choices in order to justify our own actions? Yes, there were three people in my bed in Los Angeles, but I came home one less. My bed had a hot, sweaty body, Veronica’s bed had baggage….yet my busy bed was enough to push her over the edge. It forces you to ask yourself: why does it have to be wrong or right? Why does it have to be one way or another? We make our choices and we’re either okay with them or we’re not and we grow from them.  And if there’s something not quite right in your life; it’s imperative to deal with it. Sure it may not be handled in the most eloquent manner; but at the end of the day confront your own demons; they aren’t disguised as a goddess in someone else’s bed.

 I sighed and slid my arms around Roger, moving my hands down his back. I was very content as I laid there, thinking about what a journey LA had truly been. I wasn’t the only one who had tried things I never had before. Veronica’s uncharted, stormy waters were conquered thanks to the lighthouse that led her home. As I laid there in the comfort and familiarity of our own bed; it was quite nice. Roger and I had been seasoned with Los Angeles but we returned to what we knew and loved. I would most certainly make Roger plant the cactus Mary had gotten for my birthday the next day. We laid there quietly, but I couldn’t help but glance over to the nightstand and smile a bit. I let the weight of my head, and my jet lag sink into Roger’s shoulder as my hands roamed over him. We all need someone to lean on. Fortunately for me, the man I leaned on also had a high tight arse.

Okay, first my apologies for the short and horrible concluding chapter. I have had a lot going on here before Christmas and have been chomping at the bit to get this done. Second, I need to prepare you. The next story is my last one before I go backwards. After the next story I post, I will be going back and filing in some gaps and some holes. There are things I wanted to hit but never did. I guess that's all for now. I hope to have the first chapter posted soon! As always, thanks everyone. You're the best and quie special to me!