Unconditional love

The beginning of her new normal

She had no idea how she was supposed to tell anyone. In her head she thought everyone was going to hate her and tell her she  probably wanted to cheat. When in reality that was the last thing she ever wanted. Lindsey was the love of her life, the girl she was probably going to marry, the one who has been there for her through thick and thin. Lindsey had seen her at her worst and at her best in soccer but also in general. So her mind telling her that Lindsey would hate her is illogical but the voice in her head is so powerful. So after the night of the attack she went on as if it was nothing and told know one till she started to get sick every morning. She didn't put two and two together till a few weeks later when Lindsey and the rest of the team were in the locker room after training for the game against the spirit. Lindsey asked Emily if she had an extra tampon because she forgot an extra one and was in desperate need. At first she was clueless but as she started searching through her bag she realized she hasn't had her period in over a month. She has never missed a period in her entire life and they always come on the same day of the month every time. She freezes and starts panicking and reaches for her phone and when she turns it on she looks at the date. After that she bolts out of the locker room, Lindsey is calling after her confused and the whole team is just staring at the door that just flew open and Emily sprinting out.

Tears are already cascading down her cheeks. She already knew what the answer was but she knew she had to be sure so she called her doctor who said they could fit her in in ten minutes. She was lucky it wasn't far from Providence Park so when she got there they showed her right back to an exam room. The doctor was so friendly and walked Emily through what the ultrasound would be like and then proceeded to do it. After a few moments of silence the silence was broken by a small heart beat beating in the room. And just that caused Emily to break down again. The doctor asked her if this was planned and she started shaking her head. The doctor asked what happened and Emily knew she couldn't lie so she told her. Emily told the doctor that she was raped. The doc then came around the table and hugged her and told her there were many options for her. That left Emily furiously shaking her head. She knew that this baby was meant to be hers even if she was raped so she was going to raise it and love it unconditionally. After she left the appointment armed with a few pictures of the baby and the stress of what was to come.

She knew she had to call Jill and mark and tell them. She also knew that what happened would come to light and they would look at her differently. So as soon as she got in the car she called Jill to tell her. When she picked up she told her that she had something very important to discuss and that she was so sorry. She then went on to tell her that she was raped about a month and half ago and was now pregnant. Jill had tears in her eyes and told her that the national team would be there for her every step of the way and after the baby was born she would be welcomed back with open arms and given all the resources to succeed again as she was still so young and a bright talent and future ahead. Emily also told Jill that she couldn't face anyone right now and needed to go home for a few weeks and would not be joining camp that was scheduled to start in two days with the girls arriving tomorrow. Jill told her to not to worry about it and she would figure something out to tell the girls when they arrived. Jill also told her that the girls were going to want to know what was going on and that they weren't going to be upset with her and that they would love and support her through everything. With that they said goodbye. Mark said the same thing to her and that they would be there for her and that she could keep training with the team up until she was no longer able to. He also told her that the girls were supper worried about her after she left. She said that she would tell them eventually but she didn't want them to hate her. He reassured her that they would never hate her and that this wasn't her fault and that they will love and support her through everything. After hanging up with Mark she booked the next possible flight to Atlanta and headed to the airport.

She knew she had to tell Lindsey today so as soon as she sat down on the flight she drafted the text to Lindsey that explained everything and that she was so sorry and that if she never wanted to talk to her again she would understand. She also drafted an email to her national team teammates so they would know also. After everything was perfect she sent both and shut her phone off for the flight.

By the time her flight landed in the late evening in Atlanta and had finally powered her phone back on she was bombarded with thousands of texts and hundreds of missed calls. She had multiple from every girl on the national team wanting to know where she was, how she was doing and what her plan was. They also offered their unconditional love and support for anything she might need. She was blown away by their reactions. She thought for sure they were going to hate her and never talk to her again. Lindsey's reaction was the most surprising to her. She had the most missed calls and unanswered text messages from Lindsey then anybody else. She for sure thought Linds was going to hate her. As she was trying to find her rental car outside the airport her phone started ringing and when she looked at the caller Id she immediately picked up and started apologizing for leaving and the whole thing. On the other end of the phone Lindsey tried calming her down and told her she loved her no matter what and that she would be there by her side and support her through everything. She also said that she would be on the next flight to Atlanta. Son eventually calmed down enough to tell her what was going on and where she was. Linds told her she would be in Atlanta by early morning and that as soon as she got there they would figure everything out together. She kept reminding Emily that she wasn't alone for this journey and never would be. Lindsey continued to whisper loving things through the phone while Emily drove to her apartment in Atlanta. Eventually she had to hang up to catch her flight so she could be there for Emily in person tomorrow morning.

When Emily finally arrived safely to her apartment she quickly crawled into bed and fell fast asleep after being so exhausted from crying like the entire day. She also knew the faster she fell asleep the faster Lindsey would be there and they would figure everything out.
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