"Siguro nga ang pagkamamali ko ay ang bumalik pa ako sayo."
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Ara
Ang malamig na simoy ng hangin ang bumungad sa akin pagkababa ko ng van. Sabi ko na nga ba at masamang plano ang road trip na to eh. Pinunasan ko ang luha na tumulo galing sa mga mata ko atsaka mabilis na naglakad paalis sa van.
We are currently in the middle of nowhere. But right now, anywhere is better than being inside that van. Narinig ko ang pagtawag nila sa pangalan ko pero mabilis akong tumakbo palayo. I let the darkness embrace me as I run in the middle of an almost empty road.
My sobs filled the whole place. My foot steps echoed as I run. It's been twoo years. Fucking two years. Pero bakit ang hirap niya pading kalimutan?
2 years ago
I tapped my fingers on the cold surface of the wooden table as I wait for Benny to arrived. Ikinalma ko ang sarili ko. I promised myself to not make a scene today. Tigil muna sa mga nakakahiyang eksena. Enough na yung may isa akong video na nagwawala sa isang mall.
Nakita ko na si Benny na papasok sa shop. Nasa isa akong cafe shop sa isang mall, na naman. I chuckled. Parang yung dati lang. I flaunt my sweetest smile when Benny arrived. He kissed me on the cheek and greeted me with his usual "Hello babe."
Ngitian ko lang siya. I examined Benny's face. His chinito eyes. His pale skin. The way his lips moves. The way he brushes his brown hair upward. I savored every bits of him one last time. He asked me if I already ordered and I said no.
"O sige babe ako na ang o-order para satin. Diyan ka lang ah." He tousled my hair bago pumunta sa counter.
Once na nawala siya sa harap ko ay agad kong pinunasan ang luhang tumulo galing sa mata ko. This is fucking painful. So much.
Agad kong inayos ang sarili ko ng makabalik na siya. We ate our food while talking about some random things. I memorized every parts of him as he tells his stories about school, or his basketball team, or his family. Benny is the captain of our University's Basketball team. The President of the Student Council. The rank 1 in the whole university.
No wonder madaming nagkakagusto sa kaniya. He's everyone ideal guy.
After naming maubos ang pagkain ay nagyaya na si Benny na umalis at maglibot but I declined. I know, I need to end it here. I need to end it now. Kahit masakit.
"Benny, remember the time na I forgave you." I started. Agad na napaayos ng upo si Benny. His black eyes are strickened with fear. He wants to say something pero hindi niya maituloy.
