The Sudoku Inheritance

Part I - Foreplay

In fact, I think I could refine the whole shopping basket premise and spin out a series of e-books to cater for all tastes, including: How to Pick Up Tarts in Tescos - where value brands in the basket would be a dead giveaway; How to Pick Up Lushes in Lidls - in the wines and beer aisles obviously; How to Pick Up Minxes in Morrisons, or should it be Muffs in Morrisons? - assuming Sean Bean's television commercial voiceovers haven't seduced them already with their promise of a good Northern rough rogering; and finally How to Pick Up Posh Totty in Fortnum and Mason - assuming you can afford Beluga caviar and foie gras for breakfast, though I guess they don't carry their own shopping baskets there.  

I scoured the supermarket for her but she had vanished. Had I imagined her? Were yoghurts hallucinatory? But no, there she was at the checkout, three aisles to my left, handing over her plastic. The checkout girl on my aisle was from the tortoise family. She even had an impervious shell on her back that easily resisted my scowl of frustration at her tardiness. I considered dumping my basket and leaping over the three intervening checkouts but I was blocked in from behind by an old guard who had barricaded me with his abandoned trolley, while he went back to look for Steradent or Horlicks or something. By the time I had paid, she was long gone. I stared into my bag of groceries: a lousy omelette for dinner, and definitely no hope of afters. 

But fate was being unusually kind to me tonight. I espied her in the supermarket car park. She had the bonnet of her car propped open. It was clearly going nowhere. What did she expect from a Fiat Panda?  

God was tipping buckets of water over us deliberately trying to drown my ardour but I was never one to miss an opportunity. I felt lucky. Luck is simply when preparation meets opportunity. And I was always prepared for a pretty girl. 

"Hi, got a problem?" 

She scowled at me. "No, I'm sheltering under the bonnet from the rain." 

How I love sarcasm from a girl, it shows intelligence, and I do value intelligent pillow-talk afterwards, but it's not a prerequisite by any means. "Here, let me look." I reached through the her car window and turned the ignition key. The engine groaned and said leave me alone, I want to sleep. "Flat battery," I announced knowingly. "Want a lift." 

Her shoulders sagged. She looked at her watch. Hesitated. And nodded resignedly. 

All right! Game on! 

She grabbed the shopping from her car, her briefcase and a clutch of files and folders and dumped them in the boot of my car, then climbed reluctantly into the front passenger seat.  

"Your driver, Nathan, at your command my lady," I said jauntily.  

"Jasmine," she said coldly, and told me the area to head for. She glanced at her watch again. 

"Late?" I ventured. 

She nodded and grimaced in a way that said, "Duh? Bleeding obvious, or what?" and then stared out of the side window. 

Undeterred, I kept a lively tone in my voice. "Boyfriend waiting?" 

A small shake of her head and her refection in the window said "no." Excellent. I ignored the part of the message that said "please, shut up." 

"Girlfriend?" I joked. It never fails to get them talking, either to establish their straightness or to show off their diversity. 

"Just drive, can't you?" 

Enough for now, I considered. 

It was less than ten minutes to her place so I didn't have much time to save the situation. I adjusted the mirror so that I could watch her surreptiously. She sat straight-backed with her hands on her lap, looking ahead now. Her face was perfect, carved from ivory with not a single blemish. Her eyes, with a hint of make-up, seemed like an emerald mine leading down to her very soul. Her lips, pressed tight together, were crying out to be released from their spell and allowed to laugh again. Her long black wet hair, stuck to her cheeks, and was asking to be brushed gently aside. Her V-neck sweater guided my eyes downwards and my imagination filled in the missing detail. Long long long naked legs, disappeared into the foot well, with her short white raincoat struggling to cover her tanned thighs.