At the end of the rope

The Beginning of the Rope

The world all seemed to lose the bright hue it once hold to me, a luggage in the doorway, papers everywhere. That moment was when my mother left , I was twelve years old, while my brother was only two years old, at that time we were living with our dad who was gone most of time. she told me she would still be sending money, but just needed to be somewhere, to find happiness. 

" Emily, I just need to go find myself, you can take care of your brother, I you raised enough to care for him". The words she spoke to me on that day were like ice, she look disheveled with tears in her eyes, her long brown hair was the last thing I saw as she walked out, and closed the front door. The silence was the only thing left, till my brother, Timmy, woke up crying as if he heard everything, The whole house was dark, as i walked down the hallway to my parents bedroom where he was screaming, i walked to the side of the bed, and picked him up, i cradled him in my warmth to protect him from the cold . I walked back to the living room, i sat on the floor in front of the door, hoping this was just a joke, i started to cry, "we'll be okay, we'll be okay, I got you", i kept crying and hugging him tighter each time. 

Soon the whole house was pitch black, Timmy had fallen asleep in my arms, the time on the clock had read, 8:00 PM, my tears kept falling as i realized, she really left us. Soon I heard footsteps coming closer to the door, as the person was unlocking  the door, i wiped my tears off my cheeks, and tried to smile. The door flew open revealing my, Dad, he had come home from his construction job, he dropped all his stuff on the floor," ah Mija", he rushed to me on the ground, he wrapped his arms around me and my brother and cried. This was the first time i ever seen him cry a river, he kept kissing us both on the forehead and saying prayers in Spanish. We stayed like that for 30 minutes before Timmy had woken up due to our cries, after that my dad simply told me it will be okay, because we can get help from people around us. We ordered  takeout, however barely anybody ate except Timmy , the food that day tasted like nothing, just tasteless food, it was silent as well no one spoke,"Hey, at least you don't have school for a few more weeks" my Dad tried to bring conversation to the table, but sadly that failed. You see my dad was a good man, he tried to make our lives better, despite not being well off.

Soon the night came, Timmy decided to sleep with me in my bed, as i began to drift off to sleep, i could hear weeps coming from my parents bedroom. My dad was crying, he cried for a long time I stayed up till i could hear nothing, and just pure silence. That night i dreamed of my mother, it was a snowstorm, i saw her walking in the snow, i tired to catch up to her, as soon as i reached to grab her hand, I fell into a Ravine of ice picks. I jolted up in my bed, with tears in my eyes, looking at my surroundings, i heard the sound of pans clinging together in the kitchen. i made sure to not wake up my brother, who was still sound asleep, the bed creaked with each movement i made. I finally made it to the wood floor, i opened the door little by little to see my dad in the kitchen, i could smell something burning.

" Dad what are you doing, are you burning something" I said as i walked closer

" umm i don't think so, i tried to cook an egg but it got burnt a little " he put the pan in the sink as i walked to look at the eggs he cooked

The eggs were black on the bottom, i looked in disgust as my dad began to wash the pans he burned. I grabbed the only surviving pan and put in on the stove, I proceeded to a scoop a big gulping of butter, then turned on the stove. "What are you doing", my dad asked as i stood in front of the stove grabbing the spatula, "cooking, what else", my dad gave me a perplexed look and walked away with his eggs to the table with his morning coffee. " I thought you didn't  know how to cook", my dad said as he scooped the eggs with tortillas, " i do, but only what i got taught". I continued cooking scrambled eggs for me and my brother, I put hot sauce on my mine and ketchup on Timmy's. Timmy eventually woke up 30 minutes after i was finish cooking, the whole time Timmy was eating my dad was talking to someone on the phone. My curiosity got the best of me, I walked closer to the living room, and crouched down so he wouldn't see me,        " yes !, i will be really grateful for your help, thank you I'm really grateful, I'll bring them over once they are done eating", as he was saying his goodbyes i bolted to the kitchen to see Timmy mushing up his leftover food . 

In that moment, it reminded me of how my mother used to wash him up and get mad only to laugh a little, i begin to feel tears forming in my eye, I quickly wiped my eyes and picked up my brother to clean him up. I took him to the bath to finish him up, this would be my first time giving him a bath without the help of my mother, i quickly clean him up. and changed him into shorts and a tee. After i put Timmy in the living room, i was going to shower until my dad stopped me, " hey, umm after you are done doing whatever you need to do, uhh we are going to see one of my long time friends, okay " i nodded back to him, and walked to the bathroom. Taking my time was out of the question, i hurried up and got out of the shower walked to the cabinet underneath the sink ; I was trying to locate the blow-dryer, but to my reveal it was gone. All the things for hair products was gone, i realized she took them all, and that meant i would have to buy them all over again.

An hour passed and i finished with my hair a little damp, i grabbed a blue bag from my room, i took all Timmy's diapers and wipes, just in case i would need to change him. Just when i finished and walked into the living room, my dad grabbed the keys, and grabbed Timmy into his arms. We entered the truck, the color was silver with a few mud spots on the side of it, as we pulled out of the driveway, i put my seat belt looking back at Timmy in the process of chewing his toy. As we drove down the road  many cars were passing us , the wind blowing in was a nice change of pace, we turned right into another neighborhood not too far from where we were living at." Hey Dad, how come you never introduced us to your "old time friend"", he sighed in response to my question," well there was an issue before, and we fell apart for a bit, and then reconciled a while ago, we were supposed to meet them them a month ago, but some things happened". His answer was quite odd to me, but come to think about it, i believe it was about my mother, the neighborhood was more fancy than ours by a ton and besides my mother had something against rich people for some odd reason. We finally arrived to a big gate, the whole house was concealed by a big white gate, street lights were tall as ever, and every house had at least nice yards and some had gates.