inside the house;

Chapter 1- Anna

the first thing I heard when I walked in was someone screaming. I had no idea why, but that was not my business. The people in here were crazy. no, I'm not just describing them, this was an insane asylum, no joke. instead of calling it an asylum, though, everyone just calls it "The House." it makes everyone feel like they're more mentally stable I guess. So on my way of being escorted to my cell, or should I say, "room," i Passed by a completely empty room with nothing but a desk and a female around 16 sitting and staring at the window in the room in a wooden chair. she didn't move at all, and it didn't surprise me in all honesty. the people in here weren't mentally capable of handling themselves.

so I'm guessing that brings me to why I'm in here.

it all started when I was in 2nd grade. my mom and dad started fighting and stuff and I was screamed at and I heard yelling a bunch. I had no idea what was going on because I was like 7 and ny mind was so innocent back then that it kind of makes me nostalgic a bit. but in the 3rd grade I was forced to never see my mom again, who from when I look back on it today was the victim in all that mess. she was never the one yelling, but was the one being cornered and getting cursed and yelled at. she would just stand there crying with mascara running down her face, shivering from anxiety. I always thought that my dad got full custody of me. they told me, the little 3rd grader, that she moved away to Oklahoma or something. but I learned in 7th grade that she actually killed herself because of my abusive father. she couldn't take any more of his ways and never wanted to deal with him again, and I guess she thought ending her life was the only way to get away from my dad. she always went to church and was so nice to everyone she met, including my dad, even though he was such a dick. I usually went with her when I could, and she believed that if we could both make it to Heaven that we could get away from Hell: aka my father. and the actual Hell too, that was kind of important. I have been praying every night that she finally made it to her Paradise. 3rd-7th grade was pure hell for me too because now I was stuck with my dad. I kinda just took care of myself considering he was a heavy alcoholic. he didn't have any friends and he had nothing to take all his anger and regret out on except me. I still made great grades and I basically raised myself in all honesty. I googled all the stuff that moms and dads were supposed to teach you. the only positive words I ever heard my dad say was, "Hey, Mark. At least you won't end up like me." and he chugged the rest of his Miller Lite and went into his bedroom. In 7th grade I found myself falling into a deep depression and I had no friends and no family and I felt like I was alone in the world. 3rd-10th grade I missed my mom so much and in my freshman year I still had no one and I realized I could be with my mom and God. so I attempted to kill myself over 5 times, but my dad caught me taking the pills and all the other stuff and decided he couldn't deal with it himself and called the Paramedics. ever since 7th grade I have been having the same Night Terror over an over again. I would wake myself up screaming my ass off and crying and almost puking from how scared I was. now I'm 17 and my dad finally decided I needed mental help. for 6 months I tried therapy and none of it worked. so they decided I needed to come to The House.

and that's how I got here.

When I saw that girl in that long hallway in her room/cell I felt something there. I felt something that wasn't connected but I felt a disturbance in my thoughts and I couldn't stop thinking about her. I asked my nurse who she was and she said, "oh she's just a Hopeless Case. she hasn't spoken one word since she got here 3 years ago. all she does is eat and stare out the window for 14 hours out of the day and go to sleep." and I looked behind my right shoulder and thought of her again. her long straight brown hair flowed so prettily over the back of her chair. it went to her lower back and she was wearing a white sundress with a few sunflowers on it. it was pretty cute, to be honest.

I finally got to my room, it was the last room on the right in the hallway. all that was in there was a bed, a wooden chair and a blue rubber stress ball. I really didn't have to ask why it was there. I asked my nurse what the girl's name was and she just told me "Anna." I told her thank you and she closed the door behind her. I unpacked all my clothes and there was no closet, so I kinda just put all the clothes into piles on the floor. I say on my bed and took a breather, wondering where the hell I was. and it was way more comfortable than the one I had at home. I laid down on it and stared at the ceiling for a while until a different nurse walked in and asked me if I was hungry. I just nodded and stood up and followed her to the main living area. there was about 10 others in there, including Anna. in the living area everyone was sitting in a circle. what I had already realized about this place was that every single room had so much natural light shining through. it felt so lively, like waking up on a Sunday morning before you go to church when you were younger kinda feeling.

in the circle, there was:
•2 old men, around 70
•a guy in a hat that belonged in the winter, around 20
•4 older women, ages ranging from 50-95
• Anna
• a woman around 25 that looked pretty normal
• and man around 40 that dressed like a business man, complete with an empty briefcase
•me, a 17 year old awkward teenage boy that seemed fine but had a past that would haunt him for the rest of his life who liked indie music and reality television

the nice nurse ladies made us spaghetti and it wasn't as bad as I expected.

I looked at Anna from across the circle and she just stared at the floor as she ate. this was the first time I had really looked at her face. God, she was beautiful. Others may not have thought it but I surely do. she was an adorable kind of beautiful, which made it even better. but she never spoke so there might be a few bumps in the road before anything happens. but it's only my first day so I didn't expect anything exciting to happen.

after I was done eating, it was about 2:00 p.m. and everyone went to their rooms. I just sat on my bed for about 5 minutes when the most unexpected thing happened. I thought it impossible?

my mom walked through my door.