Prologue - New Beginnings

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warnings: car crash, graphic depictions of murder and death, very very mild choking, OCD/mental illness

***

All Tom could remember was the sickening crunch of his bones as the truck collided with them, their tiny van no match for the huge metallic monster. The car flipped over and over and over and everyone was screaming until the silence was deafening as the car rocked in a small ditch. He felt sick.

"Mom! Mom!" Tom shouted, every part of his body seemed like it was on fire. He looked down or was it up? He was pretty sure the van was tipped upside down. All he knew was that he saw his mom's body fly out the front windshield when the truck hit them. He was still buckled into the seat, but the seat was hanging precariously from the floor of the van. He blinked his eyes open and turned his head, ah, it should not hurt this much.

He saw Sam's head hanging out the window opposite him, his body limp.

"Sam! Sam!" He grasped at his seatbelt and tried to unbuckle it, fingers shaking as they pulled at it. It wouldn't budge. He reached his hand out, grabbing at his brother's arm, to wake him up, god he needed him to wake up.

His arm was cold under Tom's limp but frantic grasp.

"Dad!" He screamed, trying to see where his dad went, he was in the passenger side but when the van flipped over, he thought he was thrown out the side window. Tom shook Sam's arm, trying to get him to wake up still.

His voice was hoarse and he coughed, blood spewing from his mouth as he fought to turn his head to look for Harry.

Why wouldn't his hands stop shaking? Tom let out a frustrated grunt as tears spilled down his cheeks. Harry's head was resting against the back window, dark red blood spilling from a gash in his forehead, staining the shattered glass. And where the fuck was Paddy?

Tom squeezed his eyes shut and opened them again, shapes floating in front of him.

Drip drip drip.

He felt something cold and wet fall onto his hands and he looked down, or up, were they upside down? He couldn't remember, his brain was as fuzzy as his hands felt. He felt the blood rushing to his head and his mind turning hazy as rain continued to fall.

He fought to stay awake, because he had to, his eyelids started drooping so he gritted his teeth and pulled, pulled at his seatbelt until it unbuckled and he was falling, his head almost landed on the floor (or ceiling?) with a sickening thud until he caught himself, his hand grasping at the broken glass of his window to keep him from falling down. He screamed again as glass cut into his palm, pain was radiating throughout every limb and every nerve in his body but he focused on this one as sirens roared in the distance. He pulled himself through the window, watching as his legs were limp and he had to use every muscle in his arms to get through. He collapsed on the dewy grass as rain fell, eyes slowly shutting even though his brain screamed at him to stay awake. His hands dropped and ran through the grass, grabbing tufts and pulling, screaming or at least he thought he was, "I'm here! I'm over here!"

The rain dripped down his cheeks and diluted the dark red blood dribbling down his body.

God he just wanted to sleep. The grass felt like a bed underneath him, a slightly uncomfortable but warm bed. Or was that just his body burning up? He couldn't tell, he didn't want to tell.

Tom thinks he'll just take a quick nap, maybe he'll wake up and this would be some horrible nightmare. If only life wasn't one giant fucking nightmare.

***

Tom wakes with a start to the gentle beeping of the monitor by Harry's bedside. He hated how every night when he closed his eyes, he would relive the worst moment in his entire life. Every night seemingly worse than the last. He looks at his brother, red hair slightly unruly, curls that definitely needed a trim brushing against his eyelids, shut softly. Harry looked... almost at peace. If it isn't for the equipment and IVs, heart rate monitor keeping track of his steady but forced heartbeat and ventilator shoved down his throat, one might think he is merely asleep. He's pale, paler than he used to be, veins blown out from being stuck so many times over the past 8 years.

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