1 a.m Thoughts

The wind breeze over the window. It's pretty cold. It was cold enough to send chill down somebody spine. Closing the window, Yoru goes to his own bed. Not really his own for now, because other has occupied some area of it.

Yoru snucks onto the blanket and cuddles You, the latter doesn't move an inch and just let Yoru be comfortable. It was a pleasant position. 

Minutes passed and silence fully enveloped the room. In his half asleep state, You can't help but try to kiss his boyfriend's forehead. 

"I love you, no matter what will happen" You whispered

"Can you assure nothing will stop you for loving me?" Yoru replied

"Woah, I think you have gone to sleep, your breathe seems to be stable" The red haired man seemed to be more awaken by Yoru's retort

"Nothing is ever too stable, nothing, except for this crumbling anxiety and unknowness bestowed upon every human and living things in this world"

Yoru is definitely in his full anxious mode and You accidentally trigger it. Precisely not really a good move in a midnight occurance.

"Hey, You, why do you ever love me?, is it my personality, my face, my voice, or what ?"

"I like everything about you. Is that even questionable ?" 

"..."

"What if I suddenly turn out to be ugly grandpa or change into other shape of life, will you still love me?" Yoru asked

That's it...Yoru existential crisis has turned on completely, somehow sometime it feels a little bit ridiculous. And now You has a feeling that this time is that "sometime". 

"Of course I will, nothing will stop me from loving you"

"Why would you?, changing into other forms meaning changing our brain, different brain means different uptake of information. I'm not sure I will love you the same way as this Yoru loves you if I got into different brain. So does you"

"Don't you think it is actually ridiculous every moment we savour, every relationship we had and the feeling inside it is controlled by this organ in our head" Yoru pointed his index finger to his head.  

You had no idea what answer should he give to Yoru. He is not stupid he can assure it, he may be able to argue with him, but for God's sake,  it was a frickin 1 a.m, You just want to go to sleep.

"What are you thinking at past midnight, oh, my...Yoru..." You sighed

"Yeah it sounds ridiculous so what. My life is already a whole joke and adding one or two will not change it" Yoru answer with a nihilistic tone, trying to make Yoru give up. 

Yoru just stare at him for some moments. 

You thought that Yoru has given up because he doesn't add any comment about it. His eyelids has been so heavy, he surrender to his sleepiness.

That moment didn't last long, Yoru's voice come to be heard again.

"I also wonder what will happen to our soul after we die. We are using this body as a vessel for our soul, what will happen if we are separated from this body ?. We are seeing using our eyes, listening by our ears, if we part with our body, will we still be able to understand our surrounding by our mere soul only?."

"Our consciousness built up by neuron that connects information we gather, that comes in form of material. Does soul has its material forms that is capable of thinking ?"

"Yoru..." Exhaustion has crept in You's body

"What is soul anyway?, why are we even here?. I don't understand anything. How could I seek the answer, everything seems gray and will never be white"

"Goddamnit Yoru, it is 1 a.m, just go to sleep!" 

"Can you feel your body is screaming for a rest?" You gripped Yoru's shoulder, this time with some shake 

"You bet I could". Yoru replied 

You hugged Yoru tightly. It was a warm and encouraging hug, Yoru can feel light taps on his nape.

"Is it comfortable ?"

"I know you would not stop your mind but please for now, just sleep, im beside you" You whispers beside Yoru's ear, softly

"Uhm...actually it is more than comfortable, it is soothing, like a cuddle from my mother when I was a child. A blinding safety feeling, not that I hate it"

"Yes, yes, now rest yourself first. Tomorrow I can accompany you with all of your existential dread and be confused together. I love you"

"Im not looking for the confused part but thank you" light smile appears in Yoru's face, You followed.

Yoru gripped you's shoulder. He just want to savour this moment as much he can. The hug and the grip soon to be loosen, two people sleep soundly on a bed in a cold autumn night.