12 : 51

Her Pov

Smile here, Smile there.

I'm so tired of smiling to everyone even though I am not really that happy to smile.

Wave here, wave there.

Flashes of cameras were bombarding the whole venue of my interview.

I am tired of all of these attentions being given to me.

I'm tired because all of this doesn't make sense. Because the one whom I wanted to show my smile was nowhere to be found.

The one whom I like to wave at weren't here.

The one whom I love to received an attention with isn't right here.

The one whom I like to offer my song could not be here to hear it.

The one who happened to be my man isn't with me.

Its because he's gone. My 12 : 51

~ * ~

"Ms. Erika, what motivates you to write the lyrics of your song? " 

Tanong ng isang babaeng reporter na nakatayo sa isang podium kung saan nakapatong ang mic para makapagtanong sila sa akin tungkol sa kanta ko.

Nginitian ko muna siya bago kinuha ang mic na nakapatong sa kaharap kong mesa. " First of all, the reason is somewhat personal but I hope that you wouldn't mind it at all. Second, I just feel like it to write my song's lyrics slowly for good quality. " I politely said and smiled again. Nakita ko naman na agad na i-tinake-note ng ilang mga taga media reporters ang naging sagot ko. Marahan nalang akong bumuntong-hininga dahil bigla ko nalang naalala ang huling pag-uusap namin bago siya mawala.

May panibagong reporter na naman ang umabante papunta sa podium at nagtanong. " Ms. Erika how about your other songs? Connected din po ba ito sa naging motivation niyo for making your track 12 : 51 ? "

I pick up my mic and said yes while showing them my ' smile ' . Madami pa ang naging tanong nila, halos magkakasunod at madalas ay tungkol lamang sa naging rason ko kompletuhin ang mixtape ko hanggang sa dumating na ang oras na inaasahan. Ang isang live performance ng aking title track. Ang nag-iisang rason kung bakit kailangan kong tanggapin at mahalin dahil kung hindi dahil sa nangyari sa amin, may KAMI pa akong matatawag. Ang KAMI na unti-unti ko nang ibinabaon. Ang KAMI na siyang nagturo sa akin ng aral na pahalagahan ang lahat ng oras ko sa mundo, ang dahilan kung bakit unti-unti akong bumabangon at tinutupad ang pangarap kong muntik ko nang baliwalain, Isang aral na masaktan man ang puso ng ilang ulit, meron at meron pa rin ang tamang panahon kung saan unti-unti itong maghihilom ng kusa at magiging lakas mo para sumulong sa isang labang alam mong talo ka na pero ipinaglaban mo pa rin hanggang sa huli.

Tumayo na ako mula sa upuang kinauupuan ko ay naglakad na papunta sa gitna ng stage para kantahin ang kantang inalay ko sa kanya... Sa pinakahuling pagkakataon...

Scrolling through my cellphone for the twentieth time today

Reading that text you sent me again

Though I memorized it anyway

I can still remember how I spent my previous month inside my room, checking minute by minute if I got a new message from him. Every night that I spend my time reading our conversation but I ended up crying myself to sleep.