[Book 2] ↬ Amnesia {2}

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Time...who invented such a loathsome concept? A silent stream of curses bubbled away in his throat, mixing with the bile that crept upwards, threatening to make contact with the ground below. A very dangerous proposition, considering he was flying above the heads of many an unsuspecting civilian. He was almost unable to keep from releasing it, but the momentary distraction could cost him everything. So he swallowed it down, trying to ignore the foul taste.

I told you to wait for me, baby...I told you to wait!

"Why don't you ever listen to me?" He sighed, a soft smile playing at his lips, despite his heavy heart and haste. "Well, I guess that's part of your appeal, right?"

Before disconsolation could fester within his heart, the gelid wind whirred past, stinging his face and reminding him that someone was still required to accept responsibility for this...this travesty! He shook his head, not wanting to imagine...it couldn't be him, could it? Did the fault truly lie with him, regardless of how he had tried to protect you? It was...unthinkable, really. Surely, the cards he had been dealt, the chains in which he found himself entangled...surely they added to his suspicions of the Commission? Well, as much as he desired to blame, to attack...he just couldn't. At present, there was only enough fight coursing through his veins to propel his body to the hospital...to your bedside. Cursing, he wondered why his mind chose now, an obviously unsuitable time, to apotheosize you. Perhaps it was the fear, the lingering doubts of your survival compelling him to relive his fondest memories of you, in a higher resolution - picking out the most minor of details, that caused your inner goddess to shimmer.

If he lost you, he lost everything.

Just hang on, angel...! Just hang on!

You were radiant, like a divine entity in every way except one. You weren't immortal. Life, youth, beauty...everything could be ephemeral. But not your beauty - that would transcend time and space. The limitations placed upon him by curse of humanity...they just didn't seem applicable to you. But...maybe that was a lie, tempting, bittersweet. Maybe he failed to save you...what if he was too late? He couldn't allow the desperate tears to eclipse his vision, not when the hospital was just beyond the horizon. He couldn't...but they craved release. He ached to let them flow, to follow that up with his held-in sick. What if the doctors let you die? What if...what if he wasn't fast enough, for once in his miserable existence, when he actually cared so deeply for something? For someone? You weren't simply an object for his amusement, although you might have been, initially. His heart swelled with love for you - unadulterated love, and he could no longer imagine a life void of such a powerful emotion...such a powerful woman.

This just...this couldn't be goodbye!

No way I'm gonna just let it end like this, babe!

The receptionist almost screamed as Hawks crashed into a window. Less than a heartbeat later, he discovered the door. What a clever bird.

"Where is she? Where's my girlfriend?" His voice was torn between quivering and shouting, like he couldn't decide on one definitive feeling, so all of them pounced at once.

The young woman, to whom this mess was directed, blinked a few times. "I-I'm sorry...what's her name?"

"(Y/n) (L/n). C'mon, hurry it up! I need to see her! I don't know if I'm already too late..." His foot tapped against the ground, anxious and frustrated.

The incivility wasn't intended, but what else was he supposed to do? When your life was in jeopardy, when you perched on the precipice of death...how was he supposed to react? Those thoughts weren't exactly calming. He groaned - this woman was wasting so much precious time. What if you needed him? Were you unconscious?...Dead? Or were you in a state of confusion, wondering why your life hadn't yet been extinguished, and maybe, just maybe...were you calling out to him? Was his name rolling off your tongue? Were you screaming and cursing at his image, for disappearing so abruptly? He could understand that, but regardless, he was prepared to beg for your forgiveness. Even if you couldn't bear the thought of continuing to pursue your romance...he would still love you, still watch over you from afar.

Eventually, the receptionist pointed him in the right direction, and he barrelled towards your room, not caring in the least for anyone he might inconvenience along the way. Dread washed over him, stronger than ever before. It forced him to pause outside the door, as he attempted to calm his raging heart. The moment your voice pierced through the chaos, he threw open the door, rushing inside and failing spectacularly to veil an expression of both despair and relief. You were...alive! Sure, you looked a little bruised, but he wouldn't have assumed anything less. Aside from himself, there were only three others occupying the space. He wished for privacy, but you wouldn't get better without the doctor or nurse, would you? Hawks knew basic first-aid, but nothing more. All eyes turned to greet him, but he was focused on you, scanning every visible inch of your body, your face...He needed more reassurance. His vision was keen, but could he really trust anything at the minute?

The twinge of pain nuzzling against his chest refused to die down. The way you gazed at him...he felt like a perfect stranger, someone you were meeting for the first time, whom you appeared awkward around. He didn't...he didn't feel as he should, like an adoring boyfriend, whose sole desire had become to wrap his arms and wings tightly around your frame, and never release it. The thought of something...happening again, it...it broke his heart.

He couldn't muster the courage to live out his fantasy. Instead, he walked forwards, crouching down beside your hospital bed. "Hey..." He swallowed dryly. "...how are you feelin', angel?"

A laugh escaped you, but something was off. "Angel?" You questioned, tilting your head slightly. "Nobody's ever called me that before."

"What are you talking about? I call you that all the time...Don't you remember?"

Why don't you remember?

A pout settled on your lips. "What's there to remember? I've only just met you. Oh, who are you, anyway? Are you mistaking me for someone else?"

Is this a joke? Please, please be kidding!

He blinked back the tears. Neither of the medical professionals seemed willing to directly address the situation, instead choosing to shove a piece of paper in his face. They wouldn't even lock eyes with him. This...this was all just a horrific nightmare, right? In a moment, the shock, the fear...it would rouse him from slumber, and everything would return to normal. The mission that caused his absence, the fall resulting in your amnesia...everything would be fake. It had to be! It had to be...

[Word Count: 1152]

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